Saturday, May 28, 2005

Ranting on Parliamentary Procedure (In My World)


You should write about what you know. Even then you should only write about what interests you.

I’m doing neither. I am writing abut our elected officials, particularly the US Senate. Lately, there’s been much discussion about the nuclear option, the gang of 14, the back door deals and the compromises. It pisses me off.

I vote. If there is one civic duty I adhere to, it is voting. It is my right, and more so, my duty. Duty is not a word to be taken lightly. Ingrained in me since the cub scouts, (…promise to do my best, to do my duty, to god and my country, to help other people and obey the laws of the pack.)

Senators (the house of lords) are supposed to represent their constituents. The majority in the senate is republican, and as such, the idea is that the majority party generally represents the general views of the American voting public. The senators are supposed to have the backbone to override the weaker, less representative party, because they represent more of us than minority senators do. As citizens, and voters, we are supposed to have the backbone to tell our politicians what we want them to do. Do this or lose my vote next time is a good tool, but I actually prefer “Do this or we’ll recall your sorry ass and fire you. This is not what we are paying you for.” People seem to forget that these guys work for us. We hold the power. We can demand that they do what we want, or we can demand that they go home.

14 senators come to an agreement, behind closed doors, that effectively stymies the other 86. Their respective parties should officially chastise, or otherwise censure them, for not playing ball. They are really just trying to make names for themselves as the “Great Facilitators” or whatever it is that they want to be called. The biggest name among the bunch is John McCain. I don’t know a lot about him, other than that he was a POW in Vietnam, that he can’t straighten his arms because they were broken so many times by his captors, and that he is an outspoken person who acts on what he believes is the right thing. I respect that. I respect his position. I believe that he was pure in thought and goals before he got to Washington and joined the Parliament of Whores (nod to P.J. O’Rourke).

Maybe Senator McCain brokered the deal. Maybe he has ulterior motives. Maybe not. All I know is that we, the people, elected George Bush as our leader. We, the people, elected a majority senate. They, the senate, are supposed to do our bidding. They, the senate, are pissing and moaning over selections for our supreme courts, UN representatives, and everything else. We, the people, voted for change. The people we elected are not showing enough spine to make that change. During elections people talk a lot about principles and values. If I tell you I will do something, I will do it to the best of my ability. I will not use nuances or quibbling to get around doing it.

I want a senator who will say “Fuck you Peons. You don’t represent America or Americans. If you did, there’d be more of you in this room. I demand a vote right now.” I would respect that. Of course, every last one of our representatives would then immediately issue an apology for such harsh language and unprofessionalism. And try to make nice with the moderates, and secure their next few years of living off the fatted cow.

I suppose it isn’t that easy. I suppose that if you want to get anything done, you have to forge alliances, make deals, cater to groups and special interests, and try to please most of the people most of the time. It’ll get you re-elected for one thing. For another, it shows us that even in the senate, one vote doesn’t matter. That really bothers me. Sure, there are independents. Sure, there are those mavericks who generally don’t cast their ballots because the “party” says to vote this way or that. But the majority is supposed to rule. The good of the many has to outweigh the good of the one. You can’t have it both ways. It really sucks if you are the one, but that’s the sacrifice I think Lincoln was talking about when he mentioned the altar of freedom. Compromise means that nobody gets what they really want.

I would have a blast as a senator. Even more so as a President (dare to dream… I haven’t the $$$ to run for either office, and my current job kinda makes it illegal to run.) This would be my platform: (Note to all elected officials: this fits on a single page.)

Domestic Policy:

Article 1. The supreme court determines whether or not laws are in accordance with the constitution. If a supreme court justice or nominee cannot recite from memory the entire document, including changes, then they are fired/not hired.

Article 2. The constitution shall only be changed by a mandate from the masses. The People will vote on changes in a general election. A purely popular vote. And then, the change will only become permanent after a period of eight years, after a second popular vote.

Article 3. The rights guaranteed in the Original Document are not up for interpretation and may not be infringed upon. (You can add to, but not take away)

Article 4. All law-abiding citizens can do as they please, as long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others.

Article 5. Any seditionist or terrorist who is a U.S. citizen shall be stripped of all rights and privileges as a citizen and set adrift at sea, at the furthest point from any life sustaining known land mass, as determined by the U.S. Navy. Their family and progeny will accompany them.

Article 6. All laws (including the tax code) shall be written, in full, on no more than two sheets of paper, typed, single space, 10 pitch, Arial font, in plain language English so that everyone can read them. (English shall be the official language of the US government. Learn to read and speak it as part of your vetting (citizenship) process.

Foreign Policy:

Article 1. Any country that declares war on the United States will receive a visit from an MX Missile, 1 in 10 of which will be loaded with nuclear warheads. The Other 9 will be conventional warheads. Selection of munitions will be completely random. After the capitulation of our enemies, their resources, territories, and wealth become property of the US for a period of 10 years. Don’t make us come back.

Article 2. The UN and EU does not work. The US will no longer support it.

Article 3. We may disagree with other countries, but when called on, you are either with us, or against us. Our foreign policy (and foreign aid and trade) will be driven by this.

Article 4. All diplomatic immunity is repealed. Our envoys and ambassadors shall obey their host nation laws while on foreign soil, and you will obey ours, or go to our jails. You must honor and accept (if you want to do business with us) that we do not recognize any religion based laws.

What about the Issues?

What about abortion, taxes, welfare, social security, gun rights, drug policy, stem cell research, foreign debt, AIDS, Crime, etc?

Okay, since you asked: Abortion. Your body, your choice. You live with it. The gummint will not pay for it, nor for counseling after you do it.

Taxes: Everyone pays the same amount. Not based on a percentage of income (too much along the lines of each according to his needs…) The same dollar value is applied to all Americans over the age of 18.) $5000 per head sounds about right. That’s 1.25 trillion dollars. No exemptions. If we can’t run state and local governments for less than this, we should re-think what we spend the money on.

Welfare: You get it for six months, must submit to drug screening weekly, and must repay it when you get a job (however, it will not be taxable income. It is a loan from the taxpayer.) You will also complete no less than 20 hours (weekly) of community service while receiving benefits.

Social Security: Ends immediately for all persons under the age of 50. That gives you 15 years to start saving. For people between 50 and 65, the new retirement age is 70.

Gun rights. Citizens without criminal records may purchase as many guns as often as like. All guns are available for purchase. This does not apply to cannons and howitzers. Citizens with criminal felony convictions may own guns, but shall be limited to one rifle, one pistol, and one shotgun, which they may only have on their personal property (home defense). They must also submit to drug screening, random searches of their homes, register their weapons with their IDs/Fingerprints/DNA/and pictures. They may posses not more than 50 rounds for each weapon they own (150 rounds total). Felons convicted of violent crime shall never be allowed to own firearms. Ever. All law abiding citizens shall be allowed to carry, open or concealed, any weapon that they deem appropriate, without permit or permission from any local or state government.

Drug policy: What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. What you do outside your home should have no reasonable guarantee of privacy. If you get stoned and leave your house, you will go to prison for a period of not less than 5 years. If you get stoned and commit a crime, particularly a violent crime, you will be killed by those whom you committed a crime against unless they grant you leniency.

Stem cell research: The argument for or against stem cell research is a morality based argument, and the government shall make no laws regulating or moral or immoral acts. As such, the government shall not fund any research on science of questionable morality.

Foreign Debt: They’re never going to pay us back anyway, so all foreign debts are officially forgiven, and the US savings and Loan is hereby closed. All further foreign aid dollars shall be paid by PayPal accounts set up for each country and donated by the people of the US.

AIDS: The only people who shall receive funding for AIDS treatment are those that contract the disease through other-than-sexual transmission. AIDS research shall continue to be funded, with the overlying goals to be vaccines followed by cures.

Crime: Persons convicted of crimes against other persons shall be punished as juries shall deem appropriate. Judges must be elected by popular vote. All judgments shall be allowed one appeal, unless new or compelling evidence is presented after the first appeal. Capital Crimes will be allowed two appeals, and if the second appeal fails, punishment will occur immediately. Families of victims are encouraged to participate. Crimes against children (beating, sexual, kidnapping, or murder) are capital crimes and punishment will be death by the most horrific and painful manner imaginable, and will be slow and televised.

Any infringement on the rights of others not covered in this platform shall be adjudicated in the lowest common court.

Sure, people may or may not agree with my platform. They have a right not to vote for me or even not to vote. You can call it heavy handed, facist, communist, so right wing it’s almost left, whatever you want. Dear old dad had an amazing gift: He saw everything in terms of black and white, right and wrong. Punishment was swift, but fair.

I should stop taking pain meds before I write this stuff.



Anonymous said...

no cannons?

how *will* I arm my privateer?

evil snicker

the rest is ok though.


BrerRabbit said...

When you complete your miliary service please come to TN and run for office. I didn't agree 100% with your platform but you definately scored a 95.


Anonymous said...

I agree with most of that. I'd vote for you.
Think you missed your border policy though.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely beautiful. All laws must be written on two sheets of paper - brilliant!

We've got to get you into the Senate.

Anonymous said...

We need your butt in Indiana. I will personally visit every asshat commie (there's 3 in Indiana) and make sure that they register for citizenship in Turdschmuckinstan, where things will be so much better for them, and pay for their 1 way ticket out of the country, renouncing their citizenship at the border.

Let me be the first to say to you....

Senator, that's a mighty fine keg painted like Charmaine from the titty bar down the street.

Zos said...

Don't mean to argue with a man on the front-line protecting my ass (and you have my gratitude), but I am not disenfranchised just because Bush won (and yes, I voted.) He represented the opinion of the majority, but not all the people of America. Are we to have NO say in the running of this country?

You must know by now that the President represents the last (not the lowest) common denominator. There are as many reasons why he was voted in (or potentially out) as there are individual voters. This is your blog, but consider the rest of the US, and that I come from a very long (and numerous) military family (I won't bore you) and have my own reasons for wanting someone else (almost anyone else) in the White House. This does not make me unpatriotic, it makes me a dissenting American -- you know, what we are fighting for in Iraq -- free speech, difference of opionions, compromise, etc....

Zos said...

P.S. Really, thanks!

Al Super said...

Zos: No say in the running of the country? You got to vote, didn't you? And now that your side voted and lost you *still* expect the winners to do _your_ bidding?

I think you've forgotten how a representative republic works...