Sunday, May 22, 2005

World News as seen Over Here (As I see it)

So, I get back from a simple 2-hour (Okay, it actually took 5 hours, but that's the E in METT-TC for ya.) highway clearance (not the picking up trash kind, the kind where you go out looking for IEDs and Hope you either find them before they esplode, or you survive the blast and find the jackass triggerman and kill him) and I come in to post in earnest. I forget what topic I had, because I scrolled through the news first.

Karzai Demands Justice for Prisoners Abused by Americans
New York Times - 1 hour ago
WASHINGTON, May 22 - President Hamid Karzai today demanded justice for Afghan prisoners abused by American interrogators, and he blamed the United States and Britain, not his government, for the slow progress of anti-drug efforts in his country. ...
US Forces Kill 12 Rebels in Afghanistan Guardian Unlimited

Okay then. First thoughts. Who the fuck does this backwater dipshit think he is to demand anything? If I'm not mistaken, isn't he the guy we backed in the first election in uh, how long is it in recorded history? Does he not remember the brand of justice dealt by guys like me about 4 years ago? Does the term "daisy cutter" ring any fucking bells here?

Then I saw the next headline. (The one about US forces killing 12 rebels in the 'Stan.) Oh. That kind of justice. (Mind you, I don't always actually read every article I see. Especially not in the NewYellowTimes.) I just thought the juxtapositioning was funny.

I see he's also pissed about our poor drug control in his country. Yep. That's our fault. Just because his little shitbox country has ALWAYS been a major pipeline for drug trafficking, now that his democratically elected government is fully in power, it's still Big Brother's fault for not doing enough. Maybe they need a new leader to whip them into shape. Someone charismatic. Someone who isn't afraid to bend the people to his will. Someone who was recently on the news sporting a saggy pair of BVDs. Yep. Uncle Satan Saddam might just be what he needs. After all, drug czars don't seem to work here. (Read Dale Brown's Hammerheads for a real drug/terrorist infiltration control solution.)

The point is this: Even the dumbest dogs know that if you bite the hand that feeds you, you’re going to end up either sleeping on the porch all winter (AT BEST) or taking a short walk into the nearby woods. And instead of a leash, the hand will carry a gun and shovel. Don’t piss us off, Furry hat guy. I’m pretty sure that the folks who keep you safe in bed at night still carry M4s and are from the country that you blame for all your problems. How long do you really think you’d live if we just packed up and left?

Okay. Enough of that. Next headline.

US First Lady Besieged by Protests in Jerusalem
Voice of America - 57 minutes ago
By Robert Berger. Laura Bush got a hot welcome from Palestinian Muslims when she visited the golden Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem's Old City, the third-holiest place in Islam. "How dare you come in here!" shouted Palestinian hecklers. ...
Laura Bush Encounters Protests On Middle East Tour

The First Lady was jeered by Jews and Muslims on her trip to Palestine. Here’s a bit of advice, oh fellow People of the Book™. If your flag has a six pointed star, it’s there because one world superpower kept it there by backing your asses for the last 57 years. (We’ll just disregard the whole freed your country state’s founders from concentration camps bit for now.) Palestinians: Get the fuck over it. The Jews aren’t your enemy. Well, since you’ve been trying to kill them for the last 56 ½ years, maybe they are. But how many of your religion of peace brothers have welcomed you to their countries? How many of you have been allowed to emigrate to Saudi, Iran, Iraq, Jordan, Egypt, UAE, etc.? Why has the Jewish state prospered while all of the 7th century fiefdoms have completely buggered their economies, their people, and their donkeys? (I’ve seen the video) Maybe, just maybe, God (if you’re reading this and Christian); or G-D if you’re Jewish; or Allah (if you’re busy rigging up something to esplode) is On Their Side. All of our religions agree on this principle: There is one God but God, and Moses was his Messenger. I believe that Jesus was his son. Some believe that Mohammed was his prophet. How and where I pray shouldn’t matter if we’re praying to the same God. Let’s all sing Cumbyah, hold hands, lock and load and go after the real enemy: Buddhists. It’s time for us to kick some bald headed orange robed shao-lin ass!

Of course, It’s quite possible that I’ve missed something.


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