Friday, June 03, 2005

In the News

Just finished reading the news.

Brittany Spears admits that sex while preggers is great. Duh. Even when sex is bad, it’s still pretty good. She also tells about cravings, hormones and maternal instincts. This is news?

Michael Jackson is either a serial pedophile or a naïve and gentle soul vulnerable to greedy gold diggers. If it walks like a duck…

Porn sites are getting their own domain. But it won’t make it any easier to block kids’ access to them. It takes a parent for this, not a village.

Cops 1, Car Thief 0. He’ll probably end up on trial instead of paraded through the streets as a hero, but we need more cops like this. He shouldn’t have had to say he was afraid he would get run over, All he should have to say is “He was breaking the law.”

Here’s an idea: Take the guns away from the crazy people.

The UN wants to stop AIDS. By throwing money at it. How about we help out by putting anyone else in charge of the program? You know, honest people. Arthur Andersen could do a better job, with more integrity.

Don’t go to Uzbekistan. You’ve been warned. When you’ve seen ½ of the great 50 states, start looking to vacation in the other 50. Then go international, just to see how good you have it.

Apparently, Airplane noise makes it hard for kids to read and study. It could also explain why people in airports are so stupid.

News from over here: I finally got some sleep. We’ve got comics on tour coming tomorrow for a show. Shitheads continue to attack their own government with car bombs and IEDs. I read somewhere that the ratio of Coalition and Iraqi forces deaths to AIF deaths is 4:5. Here’s the good news: we can sustain that ratio, they can’t. In the game of numbers, there are more of us than there are of them. The car bomb in Baqubah killed a governing council member and a few of his bodyguards. That was about a mile from my beloved plastic box. Most attacks are against Iraqis, not US. Still think they don’t want us over here, or is it that they are more afraid of democracy than they are of dieing?

That’s it for the headlines folks, sorry I don’t have much news from the front today, but I am working on it. Besides, other than yesterday morning’s raid, I slept a lot. And did paperwork. And a lot of the other non-glamorous things Commanders do.


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