Thursday, November 10, 2005

Excitement and fear... all in one day

Hello All! I want to tell you about our last few days. Wednesday was one of the coolest and scariest days of my life.

Why it was cool:
I finally got the chance to help promote Valour-IT! I felt very honored to be the one to go on TV (and yes, I WAS nervous) to talk about Valour-IT and help spread the word. I felt awkward at first b/c out of all of the Soldiers Angels and Valour-IT folks out there, I was the one to go on TV. I know Chuck wanted to do it himself, but I also know that he is very proud of me and very grateful that 1. we had the chance to do it, and 2. that I was the one standing in for him. I can not thank all of you enough for anything and everything you have done to help this project. To see this project bloom like it has is just amazing! Beth, Patti, Blackfive, and everyone else involved... Y'ALL ROCK!!!!! Words really can not describe just how Chuck and I feel about all of this. We are speechless (and that NEVER happens for either one of us... just ask our families! :)

Why Wednesday was so scary (I will try to make this short but thorough to give you the whole picture of what happened):
I got to Chuck's room about 10 am. He told me about a dream he had, but he thought it was reality. I told him he was dreaming and that it didn't happen, but I could not convince him that he did not "raid another soldier's room w/ two Agents at Walter Reed." Yep, that's what he told me and he insisted it really happened. Why, b/c he was heavily medicated and on another planet! Shorlty after that conversation, Chuck didn't know who I was. He asked me if I was an Agent or still an Agent in Training. I told him I was his wife... he then said, "I KNOW!!! Are you an Agent or still and Agent in Training?!?!?" I again told him I was his wife Carren and that I was not an Agent. I told him where he was and that he had been dreaming. His eyes were closed the whole time this went on, but he was dead-set that he was NOT dreaming.... then he fell asleep.

I was scared to death! I ran down to pain management (the idiots responsible for over-medicating him), but they were no help. I was in tears and doing my best to stay composed and they said they couldn't see him w/o a consult from his doctor. I was sooooo pissed!!! I went back to Chuck's ward and asked them to page his doctor, who was in surgery. His PA was in a class and I was at a loss. I had to go to the interview at MSNBC and I couldn't stay w/ him. I asked a trusted tech to keep an eye on him until I got back.... I went to the interview.

When I came back Chuck was still in a drugged state, asleep. Looooong story short.... I went through hell and back again to get someone to help me. I KNEW he was over-medicated and had been trying to get someone to help me since Monday. It was the last straw for me when Chuck and I tried to have a conversation, but he couldn't get his thoughts together to even spit out a sentence. He got very upset and started crying. I was okay for a little while, comforting him and just talking to him, until I opened my big mouth and told him I was scared b/c he didn't know who I was that morning. That scared the crap out of him and the crying and fear escalated. I finally called Psychiatry and DEMANDED that someone come see him RIGHT NOW!!! A psychiatrist came in about 10 minutes later. I told him everything that had been happening over the last few days and that I thought he was over-medicated and I needed SOMEone to change his meds.

FINALLY someone listened to me!!!!!!!!!! The psychiatrist looked at Chuck's meds and said he was definitely over-medicated. We discussed what should be changed and the Doc and I were on the same page. Chuck's PA showed up after her class and me, the Psychiatrist, and the PA put our heads together and made changes to his meds....

Thursday.... Chuck was back on planet Earth! THANK GOD!!!!!!

I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that by sharing what happened. It was an experience I never want again and you all have been part of this "story" for so long that I wanted to tell you what happened. I thank you all for EVERYthing!!!!!!!!! I think Chuck is going to try to post again soon now that he can focus more and keep his thoughts in order. I know you all miss hearing from him...

Take care, God Bless you all and our Armed Forces!

Until next time,

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