Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Guilty Pleasures

Tin Roof Ice Cream.
Tastycake Candykakes.
McDonalds french fries.
American Idol.

The Mrs. watches for the talent, and the drama. I watch to watch as the dreams of singers, good, bad, and horrid, are crushed into dust and they are forced into a life more ordinary, hopefully as something that contributes to society. Okay, that's a little too cynical. I like watching the looks on the faces of the wannabes who can't carry a tune in a bucket, have rhythm like rain, and look like they've been dressed by hung-over eastern european circus clowns; when they get told they should've paid more attention in beauty college.

Now, on to the really stupid criminals.
Note to stoopids: If you are going to try out with your twin brother on a national tv show, (even if, admittedly, you can sing) MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HAVE THREE FELONY WARRANTS OUT FOR YOUR ARREST. These two show that twins just means that the plural of Asshat is Asshats.

Next guilty pleasure: (Also on TV) Dog: The bounty hunter. We started watching this convict/ Devil's Disciples motorcycle gang member/trainwreck when I was first discharged from Walter Reed; admittedly, it was better when taken with large doses of narcotics. Aside from Dog's (Duane's) feather-adorned (thinning) blond locks (yikes! how 80's), [Note to Dog: the feathers are neither attractive (although we've seen your tastes as far as that goes), nor do they make you look "macho" (I remember them from the 80's, my sister wore them)] I also love the beaded bicep belts (another note for the canine: yer not an injun.) Not too many blond fellas running the Sac and Fox casinos here, and I've yet to meet a dude named Running Bear with the same goldlocks as Custer. You raised your boys well, I love the wifebeaters they wear. I also love how you call fistfights with drunk/stoned/crazy people "battle." Trust me, you've never seen battle.
To see if you're genetically linked, go here.
And this is on the Arts & Entertainment network? Art? Exsqueeze me?

But, like I said, it's a guilty pleasure. Also, for as much of a distraction it is, at least Duane's getting current criminals off the street, albeit in Hawaii. Perhaps we could offer him $50 a pelt for illegals in the border states? Until we get the wall built anyway.


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