If you think this is funny, go over there and read the comments.

It’s almost like this Wicca shit doesn’t even work.

It’s almost like this Wicca shit doesn’t even work. I’ve spent so much money on goddamned candles and incense and all other kind of whatnot. The worst was the dagger and silver plates, not cheap. Not to mention the cuts and other injuries sustained from sacrificing cats and shit. I just don’t undertand, I got all the instructions from one of those girls who dyes her hair black and listens to metal. I mean, she would know right?

I hope so, because this is the third time I’ve been to her and she keeps giving me more and more things to do. Now, apparently, I need to stand north of the pentagram and the candles and turn around three times counter-clockwise and then dump the chicken blood on my head. She only tells me what I’m doing wrong afterwards. She’s not that great with directions. Sometimes I wonder if she’s leading me wrong on purpose. I Don’t know why she would do that though. I apologized for calling her a witchy cunt at the prom in front of everyone.

So anyway, here we go. Candles: lit. Pentagram: drawn. Chicken: ungh, ungh, decapitated. Standing: North. Turn: three times to the left.

Okay, all done. Now I need to find my EPT to see if the damn ceremony worked this time. Getting unpregnant should not be this hard.

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