Sunday, September 09, 2007

Another top 5 dumb things I've done

Yesterday, I had the duty.

We rotate duty officer for weekend duty, I had it for the opening weekend football game. This means that I get to supervise the cannon crew (we have a 75mm pack howitzer) and the color guard for our school's football game. I had the Mrs. bring the munchkins, and they enjoyed the game.

1. Once you've figured out what you are going to do, make sure you have the keys to open the doors. We got off to a rough start. The cadets are responsible for coordination of times, equipment, supplies, etc. The cadre provide equipment, ammo, transport, etc. Due to a lack of communication, and a big steaming pile of assumptions (most of which were on the cadet's part) we couldn't get the cannon out of the supply room.

After a few phone calls, and a few choice words of wisdom from me, They got it all figgered out.

2. Choosing not to RTFM can get you killed. (Or at least make you look stupid.)
get the cannon down to the field and get it set up, and when I was searching for a wheel-brake, I pulled the lever which lock the axle to the cannon. (Oops!) Now, that wouldn't seem too bad, just lock the axle back down, right?

3. Newton was a genius, I am not. Apparently, when you unlock the axle, the big, heavy howitzer falls straight down, and the wheels roll forward on the axle. This wouldn't be too big a deal, assuming you are not directly below the cannon.

4. Don't be directly below the cannon when you accidentally pull the lever which detaches the axle from the howitzer. It will make the cannon fall on you. Luckily, the cannon will land on the axle mounts, so you won't be pinned underneath. You will, however, get hit across the back and shoulders hard enough to make you cuss, lose your breath, and generally have a deep-tissue bruise across your back, neck, and shoulders.

5. Six cadets can't lift a cannon back onto the axle. (Luckily, a truck jack can.)

6. (I know I said five, but this is the bonus round.) When firing the canon, make sure that you don't have it aimed at the guys on the crane filming the game from a perch just above the goal posts. Although they weren't in the blast radius, the shock wave tends to a) make their little perch wobble a bit and b) give them migraine headaches, especially in a game that has a score of 73-14, (IUP won). We fire every time IUP scores.

Now, some really cool videos of what happens when your dad is in charge of the canon crew:

It was a very high-scoring game

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