Sunday, August 31, 2008

I await with baited breath

Hurricane Gustav (Or Katrina, Redux if You prefer) is set to pound the ever-loving snot out of NOLA. BIG differences, this time:

The governor has already (as of 27 AUG--six days early) declared a state of emergency, and asked the POTUS to do likewise.

This freed up FEMA to begin preemptive logistical positioning and evacuation procedures, someting the former governor Kathleen Blanco (D) waited until the day before Katrina made New Orleans into an actual, rather than a proverbial, cesspool. People are evacuating (and it's slow going, but at least they are going.) The feds are flying out plane loads of folks, Jindal has over 700 busses to move they who cannot move themselves, and most of the smart people are leaving. (Okay, the smart ones left before Katrina, and never returned, but those who at least learned something are leaving.)

Now, here's the big deal: there are still those in the "chocolate city" who have, for a host of reasons, refused to leave. One that I really like is the fruitypants who said "forget the weather channel. If the local [weather] guys don't say leave, then you'll be okay." Sure. Those New Orleans weather guys nailed it last time, didn't they? NOLA is also well known as the largest market for weathermen; why would want to work at a cush job like the weather channel when they could be doing hard-hitting weather forecasts, standing in 90 MPH winds dressed like the Gordon's Fisherman every time Poseidon gets irritable?

Also, I heard anecdotal reports of vehicles moving north dragging FEMA trailers. Sure, they are only meant to be lived in for a few weeks, and they are too small, and they fall apart, and the gummint should be ashamed--but let's take it with us anyway...

1. If one single first responder is killed by the storm, then everyone who chose to stay behind should be tried for manslaughter. Their refusal to leave caused that person to be there.

2. If the levee/seawall/whatever fails, then don't spend another nickel of my tax dollars fixing it. Just push whatever buildings are destroyed into the wall and use that debris as a seawall.

3. Don't show me people crying over how "they've lost everything, again." You got it back (or some of it, anyway) after Katrina. Your dumb ass moved back to the city beneath the sea. You built your house upon the sand, as it were.

4. If things are as bad as last time, because I am who I am, I will ask for time off from work to go down and help in whatever capacity I can. I won't like it, because I will be away from home and family (again) because of a bunch of Jackasses who can't take care of themselves. I will happily shoot every cat, dog, and looter I see, so none of them will have to suffer.

5. If I see Ray Nagin, I'll kick him in the "chocolate" nuts.


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