1. My uncle once: built the Lan Architecture for CAT 6 at Fort Dix, NJ.
2. Never in my life: would I vote for a marxist/socialist.
3. When I was five: a kid tried to stab me in the throat with a scissors. It's the first time I ever saw my mom ready to kill.
4. High school was: four years I'll never get back.
5. I will never forget: waking up and being fed soup by an angel.
6. Once I met: President George Bush. I'd really like to have him over for dinner.
7. There’s this girl I know: with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes who throws temper tantrums at least twenty times a day.
8. Once, at a bar: danced on the bar with my mother-in-law.
9. By noon, I’m usually: ready for a nap.
10. Last night: watched a movie with the Mrs.
11. If only I had: the ability to control time.
12. Next time I go to church: I'll not refer to the host as a "Christ Cracker".
13. What worries me most: Me: That I will never again not spend a day in pain.
14. When I turn my head left I see: clowns.
15. When I turn my head right I see: jokers. (♫Here I am, stuck in the middle with you♫)
16. You know I’m lying when: I don't lie.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: Reagan.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Yorick.
19. By this time next year: I'll be in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.
20. A better name for me would be: Emperor Chuck--The nine-fingered ruler of the world.
21. I have a hard time understanding: Liberal Democrats.
22. If I ever go back to school: it will be Monday (I teach leadership at ROTC).
23. You know I like you if: I start humping your leg... wait, that's the dog.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person(s) I would thank would be: my wife.
25. Take my advice: because I'm smarter than you are; after all, you've the problem, not me.
26. My ideal breakfast is: thick, crisp bacon, eggs over easy, english muffins. fresh fruit salad, coffee, hash browns. Served to me & the Mrs. by scantily clad natives at our Castle on the south Pacific Island we own.
27. A song I love but do not have is: Bubbly--Colby Calliat.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: leave before sundown.
29. Why won’t people: do research on their own and make decisions for themselves, instead of doing what the magic picture box tells them to do?
30. If you spend a night at my house: expect to have cats sleep on your bed, a dog lick your hands, kids talk your ears off and to eat a great meal.
31. I’d stop my wedding so: I could have a quickie.
32. The world could do without: redacted.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Pay another dollar for social welfare.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: thumbtacks.
36. If I do anything well it’s: count to nine.
37. I can’t help but: make fun of idiots.
38. I usually cry: at during an EMG!
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: don't be a dumbass.
40. And by the way: if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!