Saturday, August 22, 2009

Strike Three, You're out!

Babbling Bob asks Helen Thomas to keep their tryst with Flav-a-flav just between them.

It seems the whizzle hizzle is sick and tired of stuttering bob, their press secretary minister of information.

I think they were expecting his appearance as a jovial fat guy like Fatty Arbuckle (below)

(Seriously, they could be brothers!)

to appease the idiot masses, but just like Fatty, a few misteps and all of the sudden your jokes and stutters and um's and uh's are falling flat. You aren't charming any more. And worse, in the cult of personality that is currently running the Kremlin on the Potomac, being not-popular makes you a liability. There are plenty of people in the current administration unpleasantness who are unable to string together a coherent sentence...

Still, something needed to be done to bring an air of transparency back into the press briefing room. So the powers that be decided there would be a bloodletting of sorts, they had to cut off the offending hand in order to save the rest of the body. They needed someone in that briefing room that could explain things to the press in the terms they would understand, free of nuances but with flowery prose that would alleviate their need to either research or even edit. Someone that they could take at face value.

Someone that when they spoke, everyone would know exactly what was the truth:

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