Thursday, November 19, 2009


Oh great! Another medical drama, and one with an "Army" spin! It's like ER meets "Over There." Or M*A*S*H* meets "The Unit".  What it is is horrid sterotyping.  A soap opera that had doctors and nurses having affairs while deployed, PTSD from all the horrors they saw, flashbacks, and generally sensational topics of war in a hospital setting.

Next week: A bottom of the barrel psychologist (not a psychiatrist) named Lidan Kilam Nassah meets some Jehovah's witnesses. After reading through several issues of "Watchtower" he decides that all war is wrong because he's now a pacifist. Except he's all conflicted because he's in the military. He is unable to find solace in the arms of a exotic dancer (not a stripper) nor able to meet any sufficiently devout Jehovah's witness to marry at the local temple. Since he's no longer able to abide violence, he decides to kill as many soldiers as he can, because they are zionists who will eventually repress him. In his design to strike first, he chooses to build a potato cannon and fire it into the veteran's day parade.

Unfortunately, (for him) the local sheriff realizes what he's up to and before he gets off the 1st shot, fires the potato gun into his rectum. The sheriff is found to be a rabid anti-Jehovah's Witness and the poor misguided psychologist is treated for the PTS disease he suffered from the incident. The sheriff is branded a terrorist and sent to prison. The psychologist suffers permanently from complete and total loss of anal retention (a future Very Special Episode for sweeps week) and an inability to smell McDonald's French Fries without having an apoplectic fit

In the Aftermath, congress passes health care reform bills to ensure all Jehovah's witnesses can get treatment for PTSD by proxy, and then passes legislation making potato gun shows illegal (and closing the potato loophole), and places a prohibitive tax on potatoes, and sets a limit on the number you can purchase or own at any given time. The BATF is given control over regulation , and becomes the BAPTF. They also pass a bill to have a ten-day waiting period and TS-level background check to purchase PVC pipe or anything else that can be used to produce these weapons of starch destruction. Every Idaho farmer is sued by the Brady campaign for not ensuring their product isn't being sold to mentally unstable service members.

Just like real life.


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