Monday, December 07, 2009

Exclusively Christian Christmas

I won't go on at length about this, except to say that I am going in the opposite direction as the White House when it comes to celebrating Christmas.

This holiday (from the root, Holy Day) is when Christians celebrate the birth of Christ.  (Yes, I know all about it not being the actual date of Christ's birth, and how the early Christians usurped the Roman festival, etc.)

Doesn't matter.  Christmas is a Christian celebration.  Hanukkah is Jewish, and a minor Jewish holiday at that.  It's only a big deal because of the marketing folks need to include everyone in their "Sale-A-Brations."

This isn't about religious tolerance, diversity, or acceptance of other (lesser) religions.  The fact that we aren't putting other religions to the sword for being infidels is proof to the world that we are accepting and diverse.  Trying to accommodate every other screwy belief during our celebration of Christs' birth actually diminishes our celebration of Christ.

So, no Kickin' Kwanzaa, Beautiful Bodhi, Wonderful Winter Solstice, Dynamite Diwali, Sadeh, Yalda, winterval, christmukkah, karachun, decemberween, Kwansolhaneidmas, or life day (sorry, Chewbacca.)

During this Christmas season, remembering and in keeping with the reason for the season, if anyone offers you a greeting other than "Merry Christmas," (whether religious or nondenominational) the correct, appropriate and  acceptable response is "Screw you, I'm a Christian.  Merry Christmas."  Any other greeting is their tacit acknowledgment that they are purposely NOT wishing you a merry Christmas, because any other greeting is as inane as saying "Happy Cold Day in Winter"

And if you are one of those non-religious folks, just enjoy the booze at the Christmas parties and toe the line.  If a Christian says "Merry Christmas" to you, say "Thank you, Merry Christmas to you, too."  If you're at one of those other religions' holiday parties, be sure to skin a cat or eat monkey brains or drink llama blood or join in however they celebrate their weird superstitions.  Atheists are a fun bunch, mostly when they try to answer "Well then, what's the point of trying?"  (Considering that I am very good, very close friends with an avowed atheist, one who has access to most of my on-line accounts, I will stop picking on the atheists now.)

Simple facts remain:
It's Christmas.
Christ is the reason for the season.
Christ was Jewish, which is why I am cool with Jews, but Hanukkah is a relatively minor holiday, and was Americanized to compete with the jealousy kids have over their peers getting presents.  To try to incorporate it into a major holiday along Christian lines, to me seems like comparing religious penises.

Give us our holidays, we gladly give you yours.  (Except Kwanzaa.  That one's more hokey and made-up than Festivus.)

Merry Christmas everyone!


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