Who had a tremendous impact on me during my recovery at Walter Reed.

Chris was always a welcome guest in our room, either in the Malone House or in the hospital ward. He was a laugh riot. His humor and wit were infectious, and provided me and Carren with MANY much needed chuckles.

The funny thing is, I (or I should say, WE) had as much impact on him as he did on us.

A few months after leaving WRAMC, Chris up and joined the army, went to OCS, and is now a serving officer in Iraq. He claims it was because of his contact with me that he was driven to join the fight. Although humbled, I think it has more to do with him being a stellar human being than anything I said or did (I was stoned 24/7, after all.)

I couldn't be more proud.

For your part, I wan't y'all to send him a note, a card, a care package--anything you can, to tell him that you appreciate his service.

If you want to do this, just send an email to with "where do I send it?" in the subject, and I'll shoot you his address.

--Chuck

Labels: Family, Project Valour-IT, Soldier's Angels, Support the troops and their mission, Walter Reed, wounded troops

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until
you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50.

Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs
out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the
eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

Soldiers' Angels is now part of the Combined Federal Campaign Fund

CFC #:25131

Web Site: www.soldiersangels.org

Labels: Project Valour-IT, Support the troops and their mission, wounded troops

Let me begin by saying that we, the members of team Chuck Z, Angels and Asphalt, had a great time. I only have last year to compare to this year, and last year pretty much kicked my ass.

This year, I completed the entire ride, both days, without so much as a push from another rider or getting off the bike and walking. For me, that was one hell of an achievement. (and yes, my ass was still kicked, but thanks to a TENS unit and modern chemistry, I didn't have to curl up in bed each night and sob myself to sleep.) I pushed my way through every inch of the 103.18 miles my GPS recorded. (I know it's supposed to be 110 miles, but the Garmin doesn't lie.) Throughout the ride, my faithful companions, Toby Nunn and Blake Powers were constantly at my side,warning other riders of my death-defying antics and telling others to make way. I was occasionally visited by Kathleen P., (aka the soup lady, the nose picker, and the First Angel I ever met;) but she had to keep moving up and down the line as she was also on the medical team. Kathleen S., another Angel rounding out our team, was also the procurer of libations and encouraging voice at my side throughout the ride. (She called her daughter to procure Coronas and limes after my Mrs. went all 18th Amendment on us and refused, on the grounds that we were already really dehydrated or some nonsense--I stopped listening after she said "No.")

So, in atypical Army Style, I will present to you my completely open and honest After Actions Report, which I've focused not on "atta boys" but on things to improve. After all, a pat on the back is only 18" from a kick in the ass, and we don't get better by focusing on what we do well.

Issue: Bethesda Hotel.
Discussion: Hyatt is very nice location, close to start point, and very accommodating.
Recommendation: Ask if the possibility exists to use their service elevators to move bikes and gear to floors, or if it's possible to speed up the elevators, or if the bikes can be stored in the ballroom after dinner. If the hotel (or World T.E.A.M.) could provide security in the parking garage (Patriot Guard, off Duty Cop, etc.) I would even be amenable to leaving the bike in the garage, and we could launch from there.

Issue: Route markers
Discussion: Along the route, arrows were painted on the asphalt at turns and intersections and were helpful when there were no guides posted.
Recommendation: Make sure the markers are painted on the asphalt BEFORE the turn/intersection, not after.

Issue: Spatial awareness
Discussion: The route was a mystery to me last year. I ode until they told me to stop. It is very hard to keep yourself mentally engaged when you don't know what is ahead.
Recommendation: A published route map (more detail=better) distributed electronically a few weeks out would be very helpful. Include items like rest stops, and maybe more local supporters would come out to the rest areas.

Issue: Rider Mentality
Discussion: Last year I met many rider along the course, who would just "hang out" and ride along with me offering encouragement. This helped to take my mind off the pain. This year most of the riders seemed intent on staying as close to the lead as possible, as evidenced by the number who simply passed by, leaving injured cyclists to fend for themselves. The mood was definitely colder, and did not present the "no one rides alone" ideal well. This may have been a function of having my own team, as I never had fewer than three riders with me, but I also saw many hand cyclists get passed by dozens of riders, and left behind, with (maybe) one person riding along with them. It appeared that the teams only sought to help their team members, anyone not on their team was left out.
Recommendation: Less emphasis on teams, although great for fund raising, they seemed to hurt the spirit and intent of the ride. Team jerseys are great, and build esprit de corps and camaraderie, but teams should be reminded that we all support each other.

Issue: Armed Services Outreach
Discussion: I saw every branch of the DoD (and one branch of the Department of Homeland Security) represented by service jerseys. This was great and helped to show how each service supported their members--except it's a lie. No service really supported their members, as no branch of service provided any materiel support for their riders, wounded or otherwise. The Marines were supported by the Injured Marine Semper Fi fund, the Air Force, Coasties, Navy and Army were supported by various charities, most notably Soldiers Angels and the Wounded Warrior Project, (Soldiers Angels supported all the branches and riders, actually.) Services supported the riders by mostly giving them time off to ride. Other than that...
I understand the military can't contribute to charities. But I also understand that the military can contribute to the individual riders, in either monetary or materiel support, in the name of recruiting or "selling the brand." Just like we pay HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars to sponsor a NASCAR vehicle, or pay for TV ads during the superbowl, or spend HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars for airshows and and parachute teams, the Military could affor to clothe, equip, house, and transport these most honored representatives of military service. IOnstead, the cost for them is covered by charities--and many of us still sport our services' colors and logo, because we are proud to have served, even if they give us nothing.
Recommendation: Explain to the services that there are many avenues to take toward supportnig this event, and exploring those avenues can only help strenghten their brand and visibility.

Issue: Charity Volunteers
Discussion: This year I saw many more volunteers at the rest stops and finish line. They were always ready to lend a hand to anyone, and made every effort to make this ride succeed. we can't thank them enough.
Recommendation: We should honor their service with more than a nod and mention.

Issue: Rest Areas
Discussion: On the first day, the heat was a monster. I was often in the tail of the group, and was being turned around within 10 minutes of stopping. Many rest areas had little shade, and some even had none. Other times, rest areas had little water, or (in one case) hot water.
Recommendation: Ensure the time the rest area is used doesn't start until the last rider trickles in. The last rider deserves as much of a rest as the lead, and likely needs it more. We need to ensure that the water on hand is cold and plentiful, and more importantly, that rest areas have natural or man-made shade. At rest areas with a water source (fire stations etc.) having them turn on a hose with a sprinlker as riders arrive and depart would really help keep us cool, and reduce risk to heat injury.

Issue: Finish line festivities
Discussion: The ride is about all of us being a team. It's about the wounded as much as it is about the healthy. It's about the riders. The speeches and acknowledgement are great--do them at the dinner before the ride. When we get to the finish, we should thank Seamus and get on with it. last year we took pictures galore of the wounded who finished, the teams, the people who made everything happen--and then we ate, drank, and a giid time was had by all.

This year the event seemed much more "cliqueish" to me, and I did not feel the same sense of camaraderie as last year. I had a great time on the ride, and met a few people who I enjoyed spending time with. I still believe this is a tremendous event, and am glad to have been a part of it as well as take great pride in finishing it, and being able to help others finish as well. I will return next year (if the stars, moon, planets, and Army align) and look forward to bringing more riders with me.

Labels: Soldier's Angels, Support the troops and their mission, wounded troops

If the video doesn't show up, go here.

Labels: In the news, Soldier's Angels, Support the troops and their mission, wounded troops

Chuck, Blake and Toby

78 miles down and 32 to go!

Dear Counsel,

I am sending this email as a mutual introduction. Singh Richhpal is the Managing Director of Guizhou Aerospace Wujiang Machinery & Electricity Equipment Co.,Ltd. Guizhou

Aerospace Wujiang Machinery & Electricity Equipment Co.,Ltd. is a manufacturer and supplier of organic whole with the main aerospace technology and the integration military

manufacture with civilian production. Aerospace Wujiang Machinery & Electricity Equipment Co.,Ltd is owed payment on a shipment that they made to a customer here in the US in

Febuary 2007. The company is now seeking advice and possible representation in litigation against the non-paying company in New Mexico.
I can not handle this matter at this because is in New Mexico and as I will be going on vacation. I have represented this company in the past.

This matter is in your jurisdiction; contact Mr. Singh Richhpal if you are interested in representing him. Below his is contact information as
follows:

Singh Richhpal :

singh_richhpal@wjsbcn.com

Guizhou Aerospace Wujiang Machinery & Electricity Equipment Co.,Ltd

E-mail: singh_richhpal@wjsbcn.com

Tel:+86 755 82117290

Fax:+08 528 691781

http://wjsbcn.com/english/

I encourage you to contact one another to see if this is a situation where you can work together.

Sincerely,

Law Office of Allen Wilson
customerservice@lawyer-one.com

How To Wax Your Floor Without Slipping, Severing Your Spine - video powered by Metacafe

Apr 23 1975

Peter Ham of Badfinger off himself at age 27, by hanging himself. Another bandmate, Tom Evans, suicides later in 1983.

That reminds me... I haven't eaten at Long John Solver's in a while (because there's no Arthur Treacher's within Driving distance, and Red Lobster is to seafood as Taco Bell is to Mexican.)

The Tank Cartridge, 120mm, Canister, XM1028, is a tank round comprised of 1150 (est.) tungsten balls, which are expelled upon muzzle exit. There is no fuse on this round.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn’t crooked.

3. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a ‘dirt road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They’re live steaks. That’s why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? Even Highways go east and west, Odd goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $150,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural America waves. It’s called ‘being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.

9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. There’s little for ‘vegetarians’ on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

13. You bring ‘coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. National Football League is as important here as the Maple Leafs and Manchester United, and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards — it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have Universities and Community Colleges. They come out of there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. We have a shit-ton of folks in the Armed Forces. So don’t mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best--then we-ll rebuild your country for you, and pay for it ourselves.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap isn’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. (Refer back to #1).

20. TWO inches of snow & ice isn’t a blizzard - it’s a vacation. Drive in it like you have some sense, and DON’T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This isn’t Alaska, worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.

A note on percentages (where do you fit in?)

The "top 1%" of earners in this country, is everyone who makes over about $180,000 a year.

The top 5% is everyone who makes over about $152,000 a year

In case you were interested, $100,000 is the top 5.63%

The top 10% is everyone who makes over $76,000 per year.

The top 15% is everyone who makes over about $64,000 a year.

The top 25% is everyone who makes over about $46,000 a year.

The top 50% is everyone who makes over about $32,000 a year.

Do you think the War in Iraq is a Quagmire? Is the media biased in its coverage of the "Overseas Contingency Operation?" Regardless how you answered to these questions, you need to hear former bobcat, John Wagner's speech, "Media Bias and Terrorism". The Army Major and part-time blogger has been interviewed by BBC, Fox News, The New York Times, and CNN among others. Wagner will be talking about his experience with the military and how the media has molded public opinion about the Global War on Terror. The OU College Republicans are proud to present Major John Wagner as the keynote speaker for Conservative Week on Tuesday April 21st at 7 PM in Baker Theater.



In conjunction with Major Wagner's speech, the OU College Republicans will also be hosting a variety of other events throughout the week. Come celebrate your freedom at the "Every day is like the 4th if July Cookout" on Monday April 20th at College Gate from 10-5. The College Republicans will be selling walking tacos, hot dogs, and burgers.

On Tuesday April 21st join the College Republicans and Pro-Life club at College Gate from 10-4 for a discussion about abortion, FOCA, and Pro-Life values. The tagline for the event: "Abortion? The Government also legalized segregation."

On Wednesday April 22nd join us in showing our gratitude for the men and women who defend our freedoms that are often taken for granted. Stop by College Gate between 10 and 4 to send a note to the troops. Wednesday we will also be doing a screening of An American Carol a comedy about a liberal filmmaker visited by three ghosts who teach him the error of his ways. Please join us in Bentley 129 at 7 PM.

On Thursday April 23rd, come celebrate the end of the world at the Global Warming Beach Party on South Beach starting at 4 PM. Join us for some fun in the sun (weather permitting).

Whatever your political ideology may be come and enjoy the festivities. If you do not agree with us we would love to hear your point of view and share ours with you. In the words of President George W. Bush, "Bring it on!"

For the beginning, go here.

Subject: Thank You All Very Much

First of all, I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has joined the group, and expressed an interest and willingness to help in my struggle for prosthetics care from the VA. The small group I started rose to over 700 members in just four days, shedding plenty of light on the situation at hand. Thank you all very much.

As you may have noticed, I did my best at keeping the identity of both the VA facility and the individuals in question private. My goal was not to specifically target any particular individual or any particular VA Medical Center, but to raise awareness to the fact there are individuals like me who are not getting services they desperately need. My goal was and still is not to get anyone fired or relieved from their job. My goal was not to get anyone from Congress, local or state government, or the media involved. I have been through that mess before at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, and I can assure you it's not a fun process for anyone involved. Our hospital halls filled with politicians all looking for answers. The media put wounded soldiers on display like political puppets. Our chain of command chewed us out and punished many with twice a day room inspections starting at 0600. Imagine a drugged up soldier missing both legs being told he has to have his room cleaned by 0600 everyday (in the Army, room inspections almost never happen after basic training, let alone at a medical facility with wounded soldiers). They tried to start making me wear my full ACU (Army Combat Uniform) every day despite the fact I could not even tie my own boots, let alone dress myself without the help of my wife. It was not a fun time. Getting the media and politicians involved is not always the best answer.I received two phone calls this morning. One was from a local prosthetics clinic calling to set up an initial consultation. Hooray! I have my first appointment Tuesday afternoon. The second phone call was from a rather angry, yelling, VA prosthetist who I have dealt with in the past. Allegedly, there is now a congressional inquiry into the lack of services provided to me. (For the record, at no point did I contact, or receive contact, from any politician at any level in our nation's government.) The individual continued with absurd allegations directed at me. “We were under the impression that you would take care of it.” “You should have called” (again). In other words, the fact I’ve been trying to get a new prosthetic arm for the last few months and still don’t have one is my fault.

The claims that they were "under the impression" I would take care of anything blew me away. How in the world would I “take care of it”? I do not know the inner workings of VA prosthetics, nor did I know who or where the nearest prosthetist is. I had heard there is a one in my neighboring city, but that was the extent of my knowledge. Until the phone call from the local prosthetist today, I did not even know their name or location. So then how in the world could I possibly “take care of it”? Furthermore, where is the card they told me (to my face on 2-3 different occasions) they were going to send me that would enable me to do such a thing (if that's in fact what I have to do, I still don’t know)? I have no knowledge of the inner workings of their department or how things are done. At no point during our February 24 meeting did I ever say that I would “set anything up” or “take care of anything”. To say otherwise and blame me, the patient, is simply ridiculous.

Maybe I carry over a little too much discipline from my time in the military, but when someone says they're going to do something, I hold them to it, especially if it is in their job description. Furthermore, one of the very first lessons I learned in the Army is never, ever, under any circumstances, assume anything. Open your mouth and communicate. You'll get a lot more done.

Overall, I do not know what, or where, the problem is. A few months ago they told me they were extremely backed up and looking to hire on more prosthetists after the first of the year. I was told that was the reason it was so difficult to get an appointment or talk to anyone. Maybe they're still too busy and short handed. Maybe it's because they have communication problems within their office. The more people you have, the harder it is to communicate with everyone. I have called on multiple occasions over the last year and a half to try and reach a prosthetist with questions. Unfortunately, my phone calls apparently didn't make it past the front desk. After about the fourth time that no one returns your phone call, you accept the fact that they're either not getting the message or just don't want to call you back. Do they not follow up with their patients? Would it be that hard for them to pick up a phone and follow up a couple weeks, or even a month after an appointment to make sure everything is working out OK? I’m still getting letters, emails and phone calls from the prosthetics lab at Walter Reed, as well as a number of other departments there. If Walter Reed can do it with new wounded coming in from Iraq and Afghanistan every week then I know they can do it. Is there no SOP to follow in setting up local prosthetics care for patients? Is there no list of approved prosthetics clinics in our surrounding area that I can go to? Why not print a small brochure, or even a small stapled packet letting patients know how the system works, and how they need to go about getting service (who pays for it, what you have to do to get it, who approves what, etc.)? They assumed that somehow I would just “know” how things worked and would “take care of it”. Clearly that is not the case.

The VA is a huge bureaucracy with many different departments that are all filled with many different people, who all have different ways of doing things. Some departments are great, while some departments are less than desirable. It is not an organized or streamlined facility. There is no “Welcome to the VA” handbook to guide you along your way. Up until three months ago I was not even aware I had a “VA Benefits Advocate” until their computer spit out another “go to these appointments” letter where I met the individual for the first time (after bouncing around the massive VA benefits system for over a year with no one to help me (keep in mind I'm rated 100% disabled)). For the sake of myself, and all the other wounded Veterans I hope the system improves. Direct supervision and a commonsensical structure are needed to ensure that patients like me are getting the care they so desperately need. Ultimately, people need to be held accountable.

Thank you all very much for standing behind me in this. With your help I managed to accomplish in four days what I could not accomplish in months by myself. Please continue to raise awareness for Veteran’s care both in your local community and nationally.

I don't care if you support our nation’s wars or not. All I am asking for is a little support for the people who have fought them.

Team Chuck Z--Angels and Asphalt Fundraising Page

Folks who aren't all there, riding for folks who can't be there.

Thank you for donating. We're a consortium of Milbloggers, SoldiersAngels, Riders, and ChuckZ--the sadomasochistic cripple who goads us into doing these things! We ride to push ourselves, and to show other wounded warriors that they, too can continue to achieve and excel. Chuck was wounded in 2005, and on the road to recovery, no one rides alone. Donations go towards the Face Of America Bike ride, and World T.E.A.M. (The Exceptional Athlete Matters), who hosts this event and many others for wounded warriors.

Labels: Fun, SITREP, Soldier's Angels, Support the troops and their mission, wounded troops

Dunkin’ Donuts announced a special "Iced Coffee Day" event for April 21, when Dunkin’ stores throughout the country will sell small iced coffees for the reduced price of only 50 cents. Five cents from each cup sold will go to Homes for Our Troops, a national, non-profit organization that builds specially adapted homes for severely injured veterans.

Dunkin’ Donuts is also launching a nationwide call to recruit one million new volunteers to support Homes for Our Troops’ efforts. The first 200 people to sign up as volunteers will receive free Dunkin’ coffee for one month.

Okay.

Carren and i have decided to sell the house for this move. If you know anyone in western PA who is looking for a place to live, and can swing a $158 K mortgage, they'll be happy.

The particulars:
Single story ranch with partially finished basement. Appx 1500 Heated square feet, 2 car garage, hardwood floor, 1960's construction, gas heat, fireplace, BIG yard (which I have worked diligently to keep nice), less than 1/4 mile to LOWE'S, 2 miles to Indiana University of Pennsylvania, 2 miles to Walmart, 2 Miles to downtown Indiana. 900 feet to the elementary school. 2 full baths, 3 bed rooms, laundry in basement, LOTS of built-in storage in basement, including a sewing table, large kitchen remodled in 2005, new cabinets/appliances, gas stove, large living room and dining room, foyer.

Speaking of dilligent yard care, that's what Carren and I did today. Take out old mulch, put down new weed mats, plant new azeleas, replace mulch, put in new borders. Mow yard and trim, pressure wash house. Dig up wildflower bed in back yard, burn compost on top, till in to soil, replant new hummingbird/butterfly mix.

Replaced broken exterior light with motion sensing lights. Pressure wash exterior stars to basement. Plant new grass seeds on bare spot on lawn.

Then everyone grabs a shower, we go to Eat n' Park (also less than 1 mile away) for dinner, and I come home for a nightcap comprised of 1600mg motrin, 2 vicodin HP (1320 mg paracetamol and 20 mg hydrocodone) a heating pad and time on the T.E.N.S. Unit.

--Chuck

Labels: Family, Fun

I had a post written up about blocking IE8. I had heard from what I believed to be a reputable source that it didn't play nice with Gmail and Yahoo mail. As I was writing the post, I downloaded it.

I thought I could be slick and load it in a way so that IE7 still worked. I was wrong. It has very few options during the installer. Also, once it starts, there's no "cancel" option.

The X in the upper right corner is grayed out as well but I've learned that shutting down a Microsoft install abruptly can be devastating, so I rolled with it.

So far, the worst thing that has happened is I had to actually read provided instructions to fix something. Apparently one of my add-ons was not ready for IE8 and the only way to make a warning bar go away telling me of that fact was to restart IE and tell it to start IE without that addon. Because I didn't read the page that opened up to tell me how to fix the problem, I spent a little time more frustrated than I needed to be.

Gmail and Yahoo mail seem to be fine. A few of my other addons are not running, but for some reason, they just rolled over and didn't cause a fuss. I'm sure most of them will get patched/upgraded in time now that IE8 is rolling out to a computer near you next week. I'm composing this post in IE8, I've gotten Windows Update to run successfully, and shortly I'm going to find out what a Web Slice is...

Maybe it's a feature in each of the mail programs that I don't use that isn't working. (I had to install a new addon for Gmail chat.) I decided to use IE8 for the rest of the weekend just to see if anything so horrible happens that I decide to stop it from rolling out at work. So far, it's not going to happen.

This week someone I work with tried to tell me that I told him not to install XP Service Pack 3. I might have told him to wait a bit in May 2008 when it first rolled out, but he had a hard time defending himself when I asked him why I would have put the installer on his desktop several months ago if I didn't want him to install it.

I'm glad now that I inadvetantly installed it. I'm not saying it's going to be my browser of choice now (still no inline spell check), but at least when it starts to roll out next week, I won't be telling people to skip it for a reason that doesn't exist.

I know at least 1% of the blog readers use IE8 already, so if you have seen any issues, let me know in the comments.

~~Code Monkey

Labels: Tech Notes

It's a sad day at the blog. The Monkey's been busted. The IRS sent me an email telling me that they know I'm a non-resident alien. They sent me a form to confirm this which I need to fill out and fax in sometime in the next week.

I'm sure that my confession will lead to INS (or the Humane Society) showing up on my doorstop with handcuffs (pawcuffs?) and bananas to entice me into a cage. At best I hope to be sent off to a wildlife refuge with a good internet cafe where I can spend my years watching my twitter feeds and holding back tears of frustration when Chuck breaks the code...

I will miss you all!

The sad thing is, someone somewhere probably fell for this. I've reported the email to the IRS and to Gmail.

Click to embiggen:





If you're as sick of Phishers as I am and want to report these emails, the best way to do it is go to the site of the bank or organization that supposedly sent it. (About to state the obvious here: Google it or type in the address, don't click a link in the email.) Look for a link on their page about phishing or security. Find the email address to report the scam, and then forward the email to them.

They can get a lot more information if you send them the message header. To find headers in the more common email program, go here. Cut and paste the header info into the email you're forwarding.

And if you're wondering, the first bit of info that made me LOL at this pathetic scam was the fact that the email was sent from "Inland Revenue Services (IRS)". EPIC FAIL!

AP Headline 4/16/09: Awash in celebrities, US still looking for heroes

Sun Sentinel Editorial 4/14/09 - Again, heroes emerge at just the right time for America

Richard Phillips gets it: "I am just a small part of this. The real heroes of the story are the U.S. military. They are the most dedicated, professional and capable group around. We should all reach out and thank them."

Want to thank a hero? There are 787 waiting for adoption at Soldiers' Angels.

Their letter writing team may be better suited for some. (See the magic they can do.)

You can send one-time gifts through the Soldiers' Angels Store.

Or you could donate to Team Chuck Z--Angels and Asphalt in the 2009 World T.E.A.M. (The Exceptional Athlete Matters) sports 2009 Face of America Bike ride. (More here.)

Heroes are everywhere. You just have to open your eyes to them.

Chuck invited you to join the Facebook group "Petition the VA to Give J.R. Salzman a New Prosthetic Arm".

Chuck says, "I know this guy. A great soldier, and a very talented carpenter and lumberjack. Lost his Arm in Iraq.
Anyway, the VA is on it's collective ass getting him a replacement for his prosthetic, and the one he has now is falling apart. PLS Help.".

To see more details and confirm this group invitation, follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=651496610&k=R6FT56W3S6VM5ABBQ1W3TW

Facebook helps you find and keep in touch with family, friends and colleagues. You can share unlimited photos, plan events and join discussion groups. It's free and everyone can join.

To register, go to:
http://www.facebook.com/p.php?i=651496610&k=R6FT56W3S6VM5ABBQ1W3TW&r

Thanks,
Petition the VA to Give J.R. Salzman a New Prosthetic Arm

___________________

Labels: Support the troops and their mission, wounded troops

Yawn. Mine's still better.

To access your question from our support site, click the following
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Question Reference #090416-000490
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Summary: Headphones not working
Product Level 1: Notebook
Product Level 2: Aspire
Product Level 3: Aspire 7520
Date Created: 04/16/2009 11:05 AM
Last Updated: 04/16/2009 11:05 AM
Status: New
Date Purchased: 11/07/2007
Operating System: Windows Vista

Serial Number
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Discussion Thread
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Customer (chuck ziegenfuss) - 04/16/2009 11:05 AM
I've updated all audio drivers, and I know my headphones work.

I've made sure the sound is turned all the way up, and still get nothing.

How do I make my headphones work?

They don't work whether connected to the port on the front of the laptop or through the usb connector.
\
Also, the SN sticker on my laptop has completely worn down and is unreadable.Response (Noby George_GWSI514) - 04/16/2009 09:46 PM

Dear Chuck Ziegenfuss,

Thank you for contacting Acer America.

I understand that you are facing issues with the headphones on your computer.

After verifying serial Number lxan30x09075017eb11601 we see that your product is out of warranty. However, Acer does offer a fee-based support over the phone for its Out of Warranty products.

You may call 1.866-621-2237. Calling cards are available for 30 minutes ($59.99), 90 minutes ($129.99), or 15 issues ($199.99) and the validity will be 1 year.

For further clarifications please feel free to visit our web site http://www.acer.com/

Thank you for contacting Acer,
Have a great day!

Respectfully,
Acer America
Online Technical Support

CLICKY FOR THEIR OH-SO-HELPFUL REPLY

Labels: Asshats and Douchebags

Labels: Daily Funny

moar funny pictures

"Come Back Home was written in the wake of me losing my longtime drummer and former Army soldier John C. Williams. But the song started off as a reflection of how a military couple deals with separation. After the release of Come Back Home, Johns little brother was killed by an IED in Iraq. His name was Blake Williams. His platoon used this track as the audio to a memorial slide show presentation they did in March of 2008. It was for all the courageous men and women they had lost in the month of March."

more after the jump.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ANfzrKmQYY&feature=player_embedded

"I am humbled by their service to our great country and I hope this song brings them some peace. My father served in Vietnam and I truly appreciate
their dedication and bravery."
-Pat McGee

We have created our own slideshow as the music video for the song. We hope you enjoy it and would be honored to see it posted as a news item on your
blog.

Please don't ask what made this song pop into my head. It would probably scare you if I tried to explain the thought process that brought me back to a soundtrack I owned (on vinyl) to a movie I have yet to see...

~~Code Monkey

Update: She is still 200 votes behind

A Soldiers Angel has planned a special gift for her Soldiers
homecoming. She needs help in voting for him. See below:

My name is Roselle Portin.

I have a favor to ask of you. Your consideration of this would be
greatly appreciated.

I am a member of Soldiers Angels. My family and I have been blessed
to receive Kxxxx Xxxxxxxxx as our adopted soldier. Through the
program we write to him, send care packages and keep him in our
thoughts and prayers every day. He has a family in NY that he will be
returning home to soon.

I wanted to do something very special for Xxxxx upon his return. In
order to do this I entered a contest to win a family dude ranch
vacation in Idaho. The kids went door to door, we asked our church
family for help, we asked everyone at school, everyone we came into
contact with throughout the day and all our friends and family for
help. We were winning.

Now we are not. My family will cover air fare for the Family but we
cannot afford the ranch if we don't win it.

Clicky on "feed my soul oh savior" to see how you can help.

I was wondering if you had a network of people that would be willing
to help me out in this. It is VERY easy to vote. No personal info is
required and it only takes a minute.

Here's how it works.
1. go to www.redhorsemountainranch.com
2. click on 'win a family dude ranch vacation' under Guest Story
Contest
3. click on Roselle Portin and VOTE.
The contest ends April 15th.

I know it's a big favor. I just wanted a really special way to send a
very big 'thank you' to Xxxx and his family (he is not aware of
this). If you could help I would be so thankful.

Please let me know what you decide.


Thanks for your time and all you do,
Roselle Portin

Labels: Soldier's Angels, Support the troops and their mission

At some point during the series of donuts, you half expect it to stop and a bunch of clowns pile out...

It's Ishtar Friday, Holy Friday, or whatever. That magical time of the spring when Jesus comes out of his cave, and if he sees his shadow and runs back inside, we'll have six more weeks of lent, and all the bunnies will shit colored eggs. Meanwhile, muslims will continue to fornicate with goats, regardless of the shadow outcome.
Or something. I really shoulda paid more attention in Sunday school.

Anyway, I figure there's no wrong way to eat a rhesus, and no right way to segue into this:



Or this



Or this



Happy Friday, and remember, God doesn't want you to eat meat on Friday during lent because... um... every time you do, Buddha kills a kitten.


--Chuck

Labels: Fun

Story by Sgt. Christopher Kozloski
Date: 04.07.2009

FORWARD OPERATING BASE MAREZ, Iraq - Propeller wash from a UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter christened the official renaming of a landing zone on Forward Operating Base Marez, March 20. The landing zone was renamed to honor the memory of LTC Gary Derby, former commander of the 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, and four members of his personal security detail who were victims of a suicide vehicle-borne improvised explosive device in February while en route to a combat outpost in Mosul to conduct a combined operations patrol with Iraqi security forces.

Colonel Gary J. Volesky, commander of 3rd Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Task Force "Greywolf", gathered with fellow soldiers to memorialize Derby and his team's dedication to the preservation of freedom both at home and abroad.

"We will never forget our fallen Soldiers," Colonel Volesky said. "They were great Americans who fought for the freedom of others."

Command Sergeant Major James Pippin, who cut the ribbon to reveal a new sign designating the landing zone as "Derby LZ," bypassed the proverbial scissors and sliced through the ribbon with a combat knife, a gesture he felt that Derby would deem appropriate. The sign itself was erected as a reminder that fallen Soldiers should never be forgotten.

"This will be a standing memorial that shows we will never forget our Soldiers," said Colonel Volesky.

Sergeant Major James Pippin uses his combat knife to cut the ribbon, revealing the sign with the new name of the landing zone on Forward Operating Base Marez, in Mosul, Iraq, March 20th, 2009. The landing zone was renamed in honor of Lt. Col. Gary Derby and four members of his personal security detail who were lost to a suicide vehicle-borne improvised explosive device in February.

Colonel Gary Volesky speaks to fellow soldiers about remembering fallen Soldiers like Lieutenant Colonel Gary Derby and his personal security detail at "Derby LZ" on Forward Operating Base Marez, in Mosul, Iraq, March 20th, 2009. The landing zone was renamed in honor ofLieutenant Colonel Gary Derby and four members of his personal security detail who were lost to a suicide vehicle-borne improvised explosive device in February.

A UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter lands in the newly named "Derby LZ" landing zone on Forward Operating Base Marez, in Mosul, Iraq, March 20th, 2009. The landing zone was renamed in honor of Lieutenant Colonel Gary Derby and four members of his personal security detail who were lost to a suicide vehicle-borne improvised explosive device in February.

Labels: Support the troops and their mission

Via Hot Air (Hi Ed!)



A few points of contention...

1. She should really show some cleavage, since she can't be taken seriously as a professor who is scared by a student who has shown nothing more than agressive behavior toward improving his performance.

2. Most professors would be happy their students sought them out to improve their grades.

3. Every grade has subjectivity to it--how much weight a professor puts on grammar vs. ideas illustrated is a form of subjectivity based on what the professor thinks is most important.

4. She has already stated she's afraid of him. If she had the means to defend herself from an attacker (even though she admits he's never actually harmed or threatened to harm her) she wouldn't have to worry.

5. The comment inserted in the video is the best--imagine if instead of "veteran" it was "white guy"/"Asian"/"Black Kid"/"republican"/"muslim"/"Catholic"/"Baptist"/"Jew"

6. The concept is great--how should a teacher react when a student isn't improving, and is not responding to standard methods of coaching and assistance. Why it has to be a veteran is beyond me. As we all know, when a veteran runs into a problem, we just pull out the gun we've hidden in our bible and start shooting.

7. And c'mon, in rural racist Pennsylvania, a black college dean? This isn't Washington, D.C.!

--Chuck

Labels: Asshats and Douchebags, Interesting, stupid is as stupid does

There's something really weird and yet kind of cool about sitting in a sandwich shop reading the Constitution on a Kindle 2 when over the restaurant's speakers comes Jimi Hendrix's version the Star Spangled Banner.

I really wonder what the Founding Fathers would have made of that scene.

~~Code Monkey

On the one hand I hate writing these kinds of posts because it means a member of our military family has been severely hurt. On the other hand, I appreciate the opportunity to bring his story before the large military support community that hangs out here at Blackfive and supports our troops so well.

Kevin Whalen of Pundit Review Radio received an email from a fan of the SYSK segment we do there, talking about a friend of his who was recently badly wounded in Afghanistan.

Here's a portion of that email:

I am writing to ask your help in getting the word out to people about a good friend of mine, Massachusetts Army National Guard Sergeant First Class Kevin Dupont. Kevin was seriously wounded while serving in Afghanistan. On March 8, 2009, Kevin was riding in a convoy of vehicles in Afghanistan near the Pakistan border. Kevin’s Humvee was struck by an Improvised Explosive Device.

The blast destroyed the vehicle and turned it into a raging inferno. The driver, Army Private First Class Patrick Devoe of Auburn, New York was killed. Another Sergeant, Robert Perez, a member of the LAPD on military leave, was wounded and received 2nd degree burns.

Kevin was the vehicle commander and was stuck inside the Humvee as it burned out of control. After struggling, Kevin was finally able to open the door and jump out. A following vehicle stopped and I was informed that they had to use a fire extinguisher to put Kevin’s flaming uniform out. As a result of the explosion and fire, Kevin suffered 3rd degree burns to over 65% of his body including his face,hands and legs.

Kevin and Sgt Perez where immediately flown to an aid station in Afghanistan where they were treated and then flown to a military hospital in Landstuhl, Germany. In Germany, Doctors prepped Kevin and Sgt. Perez for an emergency flight to the US Army Burn Center at Brooke Army Hospital in San Antonio, Texas. Kevin was placed in an induced coma so that he wouldn’t suffer from the pain of the burns.

More at Blackfive.

What happens when you pit a nimble and fluid communications organization against one that is slow and deliberate? In today's climate, with today's technology, nimble wins -- even with missteps.

Active duty military bloggers get frustrated because the management of their organizations wants to use the tools of social media, but don't grasp the principles of the space. Bloggers by and large know what they are doing—but the “echelons above reality”—the policy makers—don't listen much to us, because we aren’t a part of senior management. It's a familiar story: Management has heard of the new tools, isn't really sure what they do or how to use them—but, well, because it seems the whole world has this Twitter thing, and we need one, too. Those young people know about this stuff, but we're not completely comfortable letting them run with it. We'll get them to set it up, and then we'll control it from there.

Senior leadership that is new to the social media space is almost universally staggered by the notion that to use the space effectively, they cannot attempt to throttle the message. This comes from the long-standing misguided notion that they have ever controlled the message. In fact, they haven't. (FYI, I have yet to run into anyone over the rank of Major who is not a blogger and has heard of Blackfive. I know they are out there, I just don’t personally know any that I haven’t been the one who introduced them to it. No offense Matt, there is just a lot more clueless senior leaders in the Army than I thought.)

I think one of the biggest fears senior military leadership has about blogging in the military is not that someone will do something overtly stupid like release sensitive, even secret, information. I think the biggest fear senior leadership has with using the new media is twofold—a loss of editorial control and the idea that someone wearing a uniform will not toe the line and actually disparage policy openly. A simple fact of the matter is that you can’t divorce the uniform from the commentary; a military blogger represents the military, regardless of any disclaimer they post on their site. The more detached from understanding the military a reader is, the more they will view what you say as the either the policy of the military, or at least the popular sentiment of all service members.

The point is, new media isn't suddenly allowing service members to publicly disagree with senior leaders. They've always been able to do that. It just makes it more visible, and much faster. So you have two choices: You can clam up and say nothing; or you can voice your opinion in a way that appeals to more people, so fewer thinking people will be tempted to mashup what you say. Note here that controlling people so they don't publicly disagree with you is not an available option.

The second gargantuan stumbling block for management unaccustomed to social media is the labor-intensive nature of the space. This is not a "set it and forget it" world. It's an ongoing conversation, 27/7, and many service members can, and do, play. If you want to be a part of the conversation, not only must your content be relevant, it must also be fresh. And frequently "fresh," in this space, means minutes. This is a far cry from the months most organizations are used to having to respond to a shift in the politics, or in public opinion. Because there's so much to keep up with, and so much to respond to, social media is a difficult place for the top-down, micro-management inclined. There's no time for a committee to debate and tweak every Tweet -- because by the time that's done, the Tweet is irrelevant. The world has moved on. We speak of having an agile force, ready to rapidly meet any threat out there—and yet we get a huge “FAIL!” when it comes to information operations. (In military parlance, we are a “U” on our QTB analysis for information operations.”)

A perfect example here is “TroopTube.” The military set up a place to post our own videos—an ACU-cloned YouTube. The problem of course, is that they also decided that all submissions would be screened for appropriateness and content. You also can’t post anonymously. So…TroopTube is a huge failure. It has plenty of command messages, and a few videos worth watching, but the vast majority of it is simply the party line. No room for discourse, just top-down information flow.

An understanding of the space is necessary before any organization can effectively employ the tools of the space. Buying a new set of golf clubs doesn't make you Tiger Woods. The tools are just tools -- but the space is made up of people, all of whom have opinions you hope to sway. They've created the space, and they have rules for it. If you're not willing to play by the prevailing, and constantly changing, rules of the space, you're going to lose very quickly. The people who know the rules of the space best are the people who live in the space. In most long-established organizations, those people are the youngest people in the place. They're almost never in upper management. Seriously, apply the COIN manual to this. Information Operations is what dominates the COIN battlespace—why can’t we see that new media is the same thing; an information operations battlespace where our silence, or worse, our ineptitude, hurts us at home and abroad?

Another thought goes along this thread to illustrate the colossal undertaking that is adapting to new media. The Army’s CENTCOM Public Affairs office has a pretty decent website, a host of bloggers who receive their dispatches and good-news stories. Unfortunately, they don’t often tell the bad news stories, or respond to them. In a world where silence is consent, taking the “high road” of not responding is simply not a viable course of action.

To illustrate the challenges we face, can you imagine the current senior staffer, who can call a multi-hundred page operations order a “five paragraph OPORDER” trying to cram a coherent idea into a 140-word tweet?

Social media favors nimble organizations that are not afraid to share opinions that brew from the bottom of the organization up. Which isn't the picture of a typical old-school policymaker, and certainly isn't the picture most people have of the Pentagon.

Adapted from this piece I found on Hugh Hewitt.

--Chuck

Labels: Interesting, Support the troops and their mission

Which reminds me, I have a post to write about "starter" guns, and continuing to build the nation of riflemen.

And Code Monkey, I got the BOC, you continue to crack me up. Still, for what you paid for your macbook, you could've gotten this:
and this:and either of these:
Heck we could've even got you one of these:

Labels: Individual rights

This came from Sarah at Tryingtogrok: (and if you aren't visiting her regularly, shame on you.)

Anyone want to try to answer Sis B's question?

I know I have a bunch of Republican readers and close friends, but for the life of me I cannot figure out what any of you think about actual issues. It's all hidden behind snark and namecalling and eye rolling and back patting and I seriously, honestly, to my core, want to know what you believe and why. I want to know what you think about how the government is supposed to work. What does a functioning government look like to you? Please, if you care to answer this question, do so without saying words like "libs" or "dems" or hippies, commies, fags, or any derivative thereof. I want to know what, if any, moral authority government should have. What is the government's purpose in relation to the economy? What powers should the government be allowed to have and what should be limited? What is your view of the constitution? What are your beliefs about ALL the amendments within the Bill of Rights, not just the second?

I think that part of what mystifies me about it is the vast chasm between what I hear regular conservatives saying they believe and the type of government that has been established under the guise of conservativism the past 8 years.

I came here from sarah's place to answer your question re: the purpose and function of the gummint.

Ahem.

"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

That's why we have a government in DC.

As to what I want them to do, that is outlined in the specific, enumerated powers of the US constitution.

The most important thing the framers established in the constitution was the idea that rights were not granted to the people, rather rights belonged to the people, and could not be taken away by the government, either by force or legislation.

They even went further, to say that any right not specifically enumerated in the constitution was left to the states, and if the states didn't cover it in their constitution, then it was left to the people.

How amazing is that? Anything they or the states didn't think of, is your right to do! Gay Marriage? is it illegal on the books? Then go for it! That was the idea the framers had. The government that governs least is best, we should be left alone to live our lives at our peril. We should be responsible for our own actions, and our own choices, and however good or bad those choices are, it should be left up to our communities, through charity, to help us should we fail.

The framers thought the idea of a federal tax on the people directly should be abhorrent, as even a 1% tax could some day, some how, be raised to 2%! What would they do if they saw our current tax rates? Their idea was that the fed was funded by the states. The states elect the president, not the citizens. It wa sup to the states to decide how their votes were cast, either through popular vote, fiat, or whatever means that individual state's citizens chose.


Having said all that, what do I want my government to do?
I want them to stop social security and all other social welfare programs. Let local charities do that. Let people be responsible for their own lives.
I want the government to get out of the classrooms. I want schools to teach the ethics of the community.
A note on morality. All morality is wedded to religious beliefs. Government should never talk to morals, only ethics. Same goes for schools. Kids need to learn morals at home and at church.

I don't want the federal government ever considering "bailouts." What right does the government have to give my tax money to a private company? It's why we have bankruptcy laws.

Moreover, I want a government that realizes they have no place in the economy beyond printing the currency. The free market is the surest path to success, as it is the only path that leads to constant innovation and growth.

I want a government that is accountable to its citizens other than during campaigns. I want politicians who are humbled by the responsibility of public service. I want federal politicians think "how is this best for the country" before they think "how will this get me reelected?"

I don't want a government that tells me what I can or can't put into my body, I want a government that ensures I have the means to know what I am putting into my body and lets me decide on whether or not to do it. (This applies to drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and Twinkies.) I want a government that knows it has no business in a woman's uterus. I want a government that doesn't care what you do in the bedroom, as long as all parties consent to it, and it stays in the bed room.

I want a government that defends our borders and national interests, that works to establish favorable trade with other nations, that encourages trade between the states, and places the needs of our nation before the needs of any other.

I want a government that doesn't shy away from enforcing its own laws because the task is too hard. I want a government that realizes that NASA was a great idea, but the government has no business reaching out to the stars. Sputnik worried us because it meant the reds could range us with MIRVs. We can do likewise. Everything after that (including manned space flight) should be in the hands of private industry. How many times has the government just shrugged and gone back to the drawing boards when a multi-billion dollar craft carrying multimillion dollar satellites just goes up in smoke, or crashes because someone forgot to convert meters to feet?

How many times would that happen if the project was being run by a private company? (Good luck finding investors after posting a multibillion dollar loss. It generally teaches us to be very, very demanding and exacting in our results.)

I want the government to protect all of our rights. When is the last time a politician supported speech control?

Mostly, I want a government that is afraid of its citizens. A government that knows if they so much as try to impede on our rights, we will either imprison them or hang them.

I want a government of, by, and FOR the people. Not a government that exists for itself.

--Chuck

Labels: Chuck for Prez, Individual rights, Rope. Tree. Politicians.

Shockwave has a website full of online games. I'm partial to the puzzles when I want to unwind. "Daily Diff" is two copies of one photo side by side with ten minor changes made. You click on the differences when you find them. Usually they're the kind of photos your aunt would send back from her trip to (insert exotic locale here).

Today (April 3) it's a barber shop with a mural on the facade. The mural is made up of portraits.

I was playing along until this one stopped me in my tracks:

Yes, that's Mumia Abu Jamal, aka Wesley Cook, death row inmate and convicted murderer of Philadelphia police officer Daniel J. Faulkner.
So let me get this straight: A subsidiary of Nickelodeon puts up a puzzle on their web site that's made out of a photo of a mural of cop killers, socialists, communists, and terrorists.

Yeah, that's my idea of fun. /sarc

I don't honestly believe that any child playing this game will suddenly become a cop killer, communist, or terrorist because they spent 10 minutes playing a game on a web site. But I do believe that a web site that produces online games and caters towards young people should at least stick to cute furry animals and landscapes and leave the politics (and cop killers) out of it.

But then, it's not the first time Nickelodeon has inserted a political agenda into their programming.

If you go to the Shockwave site to see it, you have to be a member to see archived puzzles. If you hover your cursor over the 4/3/09 puzzle, you'll see that day's puzzle was of this same image. I've got other screen caps if you don't believe me.

I'll let you know if they write back.

~Code Monkey

On February 4th, 2009, the Federal Government enacted legislation to fund
the expansion of the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) that
increases excise taxes on cigarettes by 158%.

As a result, you will see the price of all cigarettes, including ours, increase
in retail stores.

We know times are tough, so we'd like to help. We invite you to register
at Marlboro.com to become eligible for cigarette coupons and special offers
using this code: MAR1558

Thank You,

Philip Morris USA

Now then, if projections are right, millions of people will opt to quit smoking based on this current tax. So, because the tax is so high, The State Children's Health Insurance Program will actually lose money, in revenue lost by those taxes not collected from people who've opted to quit. Not to mention all of the other special projects funded by "sin" taxes.

I came into a small sum of cash from a relative's will. I decided it was time to be able to check my web projects on all platforms. Besides, after the day I had telling my users I didn't want to help them get the conficker virus off their home computers, I've decided maybe it's time to make the switch and just be done with fear of hackers, script kiddies, worms, and viruses.  I'm the proud new owner of a MacBook Pro! Hopefully I won't spend all my bloggy time asking our Mac readers how to do everything. I think this book will help me make the conversion to the Cult of Mac!  Who knows, maybe I'll just start spending my lunch break with those cool kids at the Genius Bar at the Apple Store.  They seemed really nice and really smart.

I've got a few bucks left and need to get some new clothes to match my new persona. What do you think, are these me?