Friday, January 01, 2010

New Year's resolutions

Most everyone resolves to change their life in some way at the beginning of the new year.  Some are ambitious, others more mundane.  From the "I resolve to quit smoking--right after this last cigarette," to "I swear, I will never drink tequila and bacon milkshakes again" people make vows to improve their health, well being, perspective, and generally try to renew their hope that this next will be better than the last.  As a fan of detailed analysis and drawing a point to its absurd conclusion, I generally feel that resolutions are no different than saying "This year I hope I won't..." because they so seldom have any sort of plan for follow up, completion, or to measure success (or failure) and assess ways to reinforce success or repair mistakes.

Realizing that, I've come up with the following resolutions: (with little plan of attack, but I still hope to achieve succcess.)

1.  I will not call co-workers "idiots," "dumb-asses," "retards," and "sycophantic pariahs."  Especially when I have to then explain why they are idiotic dumb-assed retarded sycophantic pariahs.

2.  I am going to continue taking prescription meds, and giving them time to absorb, before making important decisions.

3.  I am switching from MD 20-20 to Thunderbird for special occasions.
     3a.  Manichewitz for really special occasions.

4.  I will no longer sing along with dethklok while watching metalocalypse.

5.  I will wear more than just socks when I am cooking bacon.
     5a.  Especially at a friend's house.
     5b.  Especially at a friend's house while their parents are visiting.

6.  I will update my facebook page at least once a month.

7.  I will update the blog at least four times as often.

8.  I will stop paying my code monkey in fentnyl-laced bananas.

9.  I will no longer tell people the plots to movies as though they were my life when engaged by strangers without the foresight to bring something to keep them occupied on an airplane.  (Like the time I was at the beach for the summer and a giant shark was going on a rampage, or the time in college that we threw a ragin' toga party and my buddy hooked up with Dean Wermer's wife, or the time I was charged for a murder that was actually committed by a one-armed man and I had to go on the run from the law until I proved my innocence.

10.  I will continue to follow the goings on of our political leaders on both sides of the aisle, and keep my opinions about them to myself (while bringing to light their flawed programs, policies, and ideas.)

11.  I will continue to highlight the ways in which our rights are stepped on, over, or simply ignored by our government.

12.  I will keep the faith with my brothers-in-arms, the leaders I follow and the men who follow me.  I will hold myself to the highest standards of moral and ethical behavior, as I represent all who wear, will wear, or have worn the uniform, by the very nature of being an officer and a soldier.

13.  I will have no fear of the number 13.

14.  (So I don't end this list with an unlucky number) I will read a book a week, and keep track of them on this blog.  I read books that interest me, and re-read some I've thoroughly enjoyed.  So duplicates are possible.  Unlike my blogfather Kim DuToit, I do enjoy good science fiction, if for no other reason than I like the stories, I like the way the good authors use the future as a way to examine current or past problems, and I like the exploration of new societal ideas (Heinlein, for instance.)  It isn't all that I read, of course.  I enjoy history, books on trivia, techno-thrillers, classics, prettymuch anything that doesn't have Fabio on the cover.

What do you resolve to do?


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