Saturday, November 20, 2010

I totally get this.

I totally get this.

It works for me on a couple levels.  I'll stick with the order in the line of thought above.
First, Our First Fashion Maven.  It's nice to know she is viewed so highly for her fashion choices by Vogue.  After all, I know very few women who could pull this off (or would even be brave enough to attempt it.)

My fashion sense prettymuch ends with "don't wear plaids and paisleys together."  Michelle must have read the rulebook further.  I especially love the idea of bringing back the waist pulled up to the armpits look she is so fond of.  No need for belts, when you can just hold up your pants with gentle pressure from your triceps.

Now, for the second, and much more important topic:  Airport Screening measures.

1.  I am, because of my cool new implant, unable to be screened by the magnetometer or "peek a boo" scanner.  I HAVE TO BE GROPED.  I am thrilled to pieces that this is brought to the forefront of public awareness, because otherwise, ya'll would just stare at me as I got felt up by a barely literate three time GED failure who speaks English as a second language (and then by the TSA screeners.)  Now you get to join me in line as Officer Touchy pokes my back, because he can feel the implant beneath the skin (which hurts when poked) squeezes my wrist because the pad where they transplanted my nerves looks weird, and makes comments when he feels my junk.
2.  Make no doubt about it, this is definitely invasive, and definitely constitutes an unreasonable search.  They have NO REASON, WARRANT OR PROBABLE CAUSE to suspect me of anything, yet this federal agency has seemingly free reign to do this.  Try this litmus test:  Would you be willing to submit to this if you were stopped by a cop on the street, and had done NOTHING but walk by?  Would you be willing to submit to this every time you went to the bank?  What about if you went to a football game?  All of these are place where terrorists have attacked before, but we don't search everyone going by this way because it is UNREASONABLE AND UNWARRANTED to do so.
3.  I am not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised to find that some employees of the TSA are registered sex offenders.  I wouldn't be surprised because RSOs work in every facet of society, so TSA likely isn't any different.  Now don't you feel good getting felt up, or letting your child get felt up?
4.  I really wonder how a woman who has been raped will respond to this type of search.  I know how I will respond to someone who tries to search my daughter in this manner.
5.  I give a rat's ass about muslim women (or men) objecting to this.  After all, it's because of muslim men and women that we are being subjected to it.
6.  None of the prophylaxis measures are 100% effective.  They will never be able to GUARANTEE your protection, because it only has to fail once, and the terrorists win.  And when the terrorist does win, he will be on a plane loaded with completely unarmed people who are fixin' to join him in his martyrdom.
7.  I can't imagine it wouldn't be more cost effective, given the litigation, eventual lawsuits from leaked photos and misbehavior, and manpower required, to simply hire an Army of air marshals.  Truth is, it would be even cheaper to allow persons to become "Volunteer Air Marshals" just like volunteer firemen.  They volunteer to go through training, qualify with their weapons, receive thorough background and security checks, and can then carry weapons on airplanes.  Of course, the flaw in this is that the asshat slimeball who Murdered soldiers at Fort Hood was an Officer in the Army, and had passed rigorous screening for mental health and background, too.  Thus comes the final solution:
8.  Allow everyone who wishes to do so to carry weapons on aircraft.  The odds of a given aircraft having only one armed person would be very low, and the (even far lower) odds that one of the people on the plane would be armed and unbalanced would be resolved.  Allow the cabin crew access to weapons as well, perhaps in a dual authorization container, requiring the pilot to agree and unlock the container from inside the secure flight deck.  An armed society is a polite (and generally harder to terrorize) society.  Everywhere you go that other people congregate is a potential target for terrorists.  Think about that, and then explain why air travel deserves this special need for invasive body searches.


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