I've given this a little thought, which is to say the idea just popped into my head, and that means that I'll be sorting it out in the paragraphs that follow.
Here's what we need for a candidate in 2012:
Never held political office: Even Palin and Christie have had to make back room deals to get to where they've been. They're out. There are many good, hardworking Americans who can read the US constitution, see what the responsibilities of the Executive are (hint: golf and vacations are okay, just not a) every weekend and b) ridiculously expensive. As for The Donald, the last President with hair that retarded Martin Van Buren, and he had bitchin' mutton chops to offset it. The Donald is as dirty as any politician--and likely owns a few, as well.
Never held office is pretty important, IMHO. In order to get elected to these offices, people have to make deals, agreements, promises, etc., and those people, once bought, tend to stay bought. A candidate who only takes donations (and demands that all donations come only from citizens, not PACs, US or Foreign Corporations , "interest groups," unions, or anything other than individual voters is critical. This way, the only ones they need to "repay the favor to" are the citizens.
Next thing we need in a candidate: someone with military service. Doesn't need to be a retired General or Admiral, doesn't even need to be a retiree--just someone who's worn a uniform and understands what happens when a Commander in Chief is indecisive--what it does to planning, families, and readiness; Military service is NOT a prerequisite of being president, but it should be for our next presidential candidiate.
We need a candidate who isn't as concerned with being popular as he is with doing what is right.
We need a candidate who is willing to focus on the hard problems--budget, security, immigration, terrorism, energy, disaster response--and unwilling to focus on puffery like bullying, healthy eating, and local law enforcement matters.
We need a candidate who will MAKE his Attorney General enforce the law of the land--and if he doesn't like a law,will follow it until he can get it changed.
We need a candidate who will not lie to the people, assuming we are too stupid to check facts.
We need a candidate who has held a job in the private sector.
We need a candidate that doesn't make the French President look like Ronald Reagan in comparisson.
We need a candidate who doesn't need a TelePrompTer to tell the truth, or to tell the time.
We need a candidate who does not embarrass us by bowing to every foreigner he meets. CORRECTION: WE NEED A CANDIDATE WHO DOES NOT BOW TO ANYONE, EVER.
We need a candidate who can prove he can maintain a family budget.
We need a candidate who is plain-spoken, if not a "Great Orator."
We need a candidate who is willing to do his best, piss people off if he must, call out other politicians for their failures and lies, refuse to negotiate on points of principle, and if it comes down to it, not worry about re-election or polls.
We need a candidate whose wife doesn't scare small children and little droids on the death star.
We need a candidate who, when asked about same sex marriage or abortion, says "I have problems to work on, real problems, that will affect the future of this Republic--and maybe even its survival. I'll let the people figure out if they want those things at their ballot box--in their own states."
We need a candidate who, when asked about his position on guns, draws his own from his concealed carry holster and sets it on the podium, and says "I will shoot the next person who asks me a stupid question about my position on specific, enumerated rights."
We need a candidate who responds to cries of "More taxes on the rich" by answering his cell phone and saying: "It's John Galt. He's calling for you with his new address."
We need a candidate who doesn't spend his state of the union address talking about new spending plans, and other stupid ideas (like high-speed rail,) when everyone wants to know what he is going to do about the crushing debt in the country.
We need a candidate who is Unapologetically American.
We need a candidate who is willing to flex military might to further the cause of freedom, wherever it may spring.
We need a candidate who believes, if not in God, then in the idea of America. If he claims to believe in God, we need a candidate who goes to Church.
We need a candidate whose wife won't swap candy at Easter with "healthy" treats.
We need a candidate who knows social security was a bad idea at inception, is doomed to failure, and has a plan to kill it.
We need a candidate who is willing to do the hard things--like border security--even if it means people crossing the border illegally are killed. We need a candidate willing to punish the people who hire illegals, and sanction cities that are "sanctuaries" for illegals--by refusing federal funding of any kind for those cities. We need a candidate willing to order INS (or whatever we call it) to round up illegals in this country and deport them, regardless of how long they've lived here.
We need a candidate who is willing to refuse to sign a bill into law until he has read it--and will flat out veto a bill sent to him if the Congress hasn't read it.
We need a candidate who would never, ever, appear on The View, or Oprah.
We need a candidate who is willing to let the military deal with POWs and Unlawful Combatants, and not
willing to treat them like specially invited guests of the US.
We need a candidate who advocates the death sentence for convicted spies and other traitors.
We need a candidate who believes Equal Opportunity means opportunity for everyone, not just those with certain genetic makeup, and that opportunity does not equal success.
We need a candidate who will flatly refuse to allow the leaders of rogue states or nations hostile to the US to come to the US--even as diplomats.
We need a candidate who appoints people based on proven success in the field they work in--not based on whether or not they are "A wise Latina."
We need a candidate who does not attract flies.
We need a candidate who answers questions directly and truthfully, without stumbling around for the politically correct non-answer.
We need a candidate willing to dismiss the UN as Transnational Progressivism, at best, --and be willing to evict them as contrary to the national goals of the US.
We need a candidate who we can be proud of, and more importantly, is proud of us, and always has been.
Sadly, I will not be available to run in 2012.
If, however, a massive write-in campaign should put me in the oval office, Y'all are all invited to the inaugural ball. After that, the White House will be more about work than play, and I can go four
years months weeks days without a vacation, so there's that, too.