Monday, November 28, 2011

Adding to the list of things I probably shouldn't do just because they amuse me

Afghans, it seems, have their own slavish adherence to regulations, at least in terms of religion.  The call to stick your ass in the air came about 20 minutes early today.  I was in my office at the Border Police headquarters I have several offices, this one is where I work from to ensure that our mentorship and partnership with these WOGs goes well) but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax.

Anyway, there's a PA system in my office.  Lots of lights and buttons.  May as well put a "wet paint" sign on it too--I'm going to play with it.  I pushed a couple buttons, and the pre-recorded call to prayer starts up.  I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, people would check their watches and realize the error.
Allah is never off time, it seems.  About 20 seconds into the recording (while I was pushing buttons, again, to make it stop) the mosques around the Headquarters started playing the call to prayer.  All the Afghans started filing out of offices and barracks to go pray. 

I asked one of the terps about this--he said that when the prayer call is heard, you go pray, period.  Not everyone has a watch or can tell time, but everyone can hear the call to Allah.  And if a call is heard by a mosque, they will make their call and the others will follow.  Then they will adjust their clocks, so the next call is sounded at a set time from the last call.

So, I may have figured out a way to establish Chucks Daylight Savings Time.  Just adjust by a couple minutes every day, and soon, I can get Afghanistan off the weird 30-minute time shift (Afghan Time is +30 minutes to everywhere else in the time zone) and eventually have them on Eastern Standard Time.  Sure, their prayers would all be in the middle of the night, but Allah wants what Allah wants.


I also have an app on my Ipod that plays a high-pitched beep that I can't hear.  It's exactly in the frequency range I lost when shit went all explodey a few years back. The noise is very hard to pin down location/source, and since I like to keep the ipod in my pocket, and move around a lot, it is even harder for people to know where the noise comes from.  Right outside my plywood wall here at the Border Police, there is a break room for the Afghans.  There is a TV in there, blaring Taliban MTV 24-7. 

Remember the PA system?  Guess what?  I expect that by the end of the month people will either go insane or start getting their ears checked.

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