Pigeon: impossible

Clippy cracks me up

 

 

Amazing

In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with His family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his Family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.


Hat tip to Mary.


--Chuck

AKO Fail

You're (still) doing it wrong.

http://www.mudvillegazette.com/033219.html

"Under the guidance of an expert, aides say Obama privately repeated his salute over and over again until he got it down. In a testament to how sensitive the White House is about the commander in chief practicing this basic military gesture, aides would not say who taught Obama how to salute. But every time he uses it, Obama is trying to convey an insider's respect for the armed forces without saying a word."

"That attention to detail, that focus on the outward manifestation of what we expect, is compelling," said retired Gen. Paul Eaton, who advised Obama during the presidential campaign. "Whoever worked with him on that did a pretty good job."

Here's the picture that accompanies the story:

I'm not sure if it's why the identity of his trainer is a State secret, but there's no evidence of that training here.

Team Rubicon

Team Rubicon is a self-financed and self-deployed group of former Marines, soldiers and health care professionals currently providing emergency relief in Haiti.

Team Rubicon coordinates with Army on the ground

"Mobile Team Alpha has established a field triage at Delmas 60. An Army squad has made contact with us and asked us to medevac a patient two blocks away with a crushed leg and compartment syndrome. Our truck is en route."

 Much, much more here.

They could use your support.

--Chuck

Failure of nations and contract law

If history and physics tell us anything, it’s the guaranteed failure of all things, including companies, countries, people, and entire civilizations. (Packard? The USSR? George Burns? Rome?)--Mike Rowe

I don't know if all things fail.  Most things fail.  Things which are not properly maintained, certainly.  Things which move even moreso.  The Egyptian pyramids still stand.

I don't think that the US will fail simply as a function of the nature of things.  It may grow or morph into something else.  If we look at failure in absolute terms, where something ceases to exist, then as long as a Packard operates on a road, the company still (in a sense) exists. 

The US can trace its history to the Magna Charta, and even to Hammurabi's first codified law.  What nations in the future will trace their origins to us?  When the combined federation of planets signs its charter, will that charter have origins in the US constitution?  The United States isn't a living thing, it is an idea.  Ideas are notoriously hard to kill, just ask Buddha,  Christ, Abraham, Mohammed (peanut butter on him) and the Sumerians.

I doubt there is much about our country that our founders would recognize (even less that they would approve, but that goes beyond the scope of this comment.)  That doesn't mean that their America doesn't exist, or that we will eventually decline and then become dispersed like the legions of Rome.  It means that anything which changes can adapt, and adaptability is what makes things resilient.  The founders sought only to create a *more* perfect union.  Their intent was not to create *the* perfect society, nor that we should settle for the one we have, and that it was the responsibility of generations to improve that society, learning from the mistakes of their parents and grandparents.

What can the government learn from the contractual bonus debacle?  (Not wanting to pay AIG execs bonuses.)  That the free market works.  That they cannot possibly hope to have lawyers working for the government (except the very rare few who serve for services' sake) who can compete professionally with the lawyers who earn millions writing contracts for wall street.  It's roughly the same thing as a state champion high school football team playing the 6-time superbowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers.  Even with the worst team they've ever fielded, the Steelers would absolutely murder the high school team.  Both teams have drive and desire.  Both teams know how to play the game.  Both teams love the game.  But only one team is populated with players drafted from the very best that the sport had to offer.

If your local congressperson (who, odds are, is a lawyer) were any good as a lawyer, they'd either be a judge or still be a lawyer.  There's tons more money in private lawyerin' than there is in public politics (assuming an honest politician.)

Can you Identify this poseur?

BUSTED

The following *alleged poseur* whom I'll simply refer to as DM** was spotted at the George R. Brown Convention Center in Houston during the Annise Parker for Houston Mayor Victory Party on 12/12/2009, 2030 hrs (8:30 PM in Air Force time.)

Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but I'm pretty certain I'd know if there was a serving Brigadier General with TWO Distinguished Service Crosses (the only higher medal is the MOH,) a Silver Star, a Purple Heart, a Bronze Star, and get this, a Knight Commander of British Empire.  He apparently also works for the CIA, based on the badge on his mess jacket.

His CIB has TWO stars--meaning Three Awards, so he must've served in Korea.  Does he look like he is in his 80's?  Korea was begun on June 25, 1950, and ended by an armistice on July 17, 1953.  To serve, he'd have to be at least 18 on July 17, 1953, meaning he'd have been born in 1932-35.  He looks damn good for an octogenarian.  There is so much more wrong with his uniform-SAS wings, but no British Jump Wings.  Chin Fungus as seen on MTV's Jersey Shore.  His sideburns are way, way too long.  Wrong shirt collar--appropriate for an occasion whee black tie and tails are worn, but not the occasion he is attending.  The list goes on and on.

Maybe he's at the openly homosexual mayor's victory party in a uniform to make a statement about gays in the military.  I'm not sure why he would choose this venue, as she has zero ability to change the US Congress' policy on homosexuality in the military. I'm not sure that committing a federal crime (see:  Stolen Valor Act) is the best way to make a statement.  I'm pretty sure the victory party was not a costume party, either.

There is so much wrong with his uniform, I'm surprised (okay, not really) that no one at the mayor's party recognized so obvious an impostor and had him escorted out.  Had I been there, I'd have pinned him to the ground, pulled off his sock, filled it with his phony medals, and beat him senseless with them.  Since I wasn't there, I'm relying on the denizens of Houston, TX to identify this jackass, so he may be reported to the proper authorities, and does not continue to pretend to be something he isn't, wasn't, and never will be.

CAN ANYONE IDENTIFY THIS (alleged) DOUCHE-NOZZLE?
What he is going is a completely disrespectful to all of those who has served or are serving in uniform, regardless of branch and regardless of what awards anyone has. By wearing this uniform, he is ambassador of our military and all that it stands for. I will keep updating this posting through the day with the URLs of all the other blogs covering this waste of oxygen.

If you think you have a lead on who this guy is, please contact me at tcoverride@gmail.com

--Chuck


**  Douchey McChinpubes

Other blogs looking for info on this poseur:
Blackfive
Boston Maggie
Bouhammer
Bring the Heat, Bring the Stupid
CDR Salamander
From My Position
Hooah Wife
Kiss My Gumbo
Little Drops
A Soldier's Perspective
This Ain't Hell

A perfect example of the MSMs inanity

A point of clarification

In my previous post about Haiti, I don't want the reader to think we shouldn't be providing humanitarian relief to the Haitians.  Indeed, being the rescuers of helpless souls is one of those things that makes me proud to be a part of this country.  I don't think that out continual pumping of foreign aid dollars into Haiti has any value to us (or them.)  The Haitians have been conditioned for so long to rely on government and foreign aid that they are making it harder to get humanitarian relief to them, because they have clogged the airports and seaports with refugees willing to get out on whatever vessel will take them.  Planes can't land, boats can't dock. 


They are, literally, the hopeless beggars who sit on the street, holding a cup, not even making the effort to beg.


We should send them humanitarian aid, in the form of medical support, food, clean water, etc.  Our government should do so on behalf of the people of the United States, again showing the world that we care.  The problem comes when the Haitians have mucked things up so badly that we can't get that aid to them.  Can't land the plane, if we drop pallets of food, water, etc., it will go to whomever has the AK, and will (historical precedent in Haiti says) then be SOLD to people who need it.  Smaller parcels, dropped from helicopter might work, but the risk then is that the helicopter may be shot down, by the same guy with the AK, to get all the parcels.


Marines guarding the relief supplies is just asking for a "Massacre" along the lines of the Boston Massacre, where people storm the food storage areas, and Marines fire to defend themselves from the mob.  People die, and the rescuing heroes are now monsters (at least in the US press) while the press back home asks "why couldn't they just let them have the supplies" not understanding that you have to ensure it is even distributed.


The problem is a logistical one, with some of the population in desperate need, some of the population in desperate need but focused on hoarding, and some of the population just damn crazy.  (Like the ones looting office furniture and electronics.  Guess they don't need food, water and medical attention that bad.)  I think we should provide humanitarian aid for six weeks or less, and then we are gone.  We should tell the people that looting, rioting, and stealing are indicators to us that they do not need our help, and if it happens, we are gone.  We should further make it known that once we leave, the purse strings are cut, and until they have a stable, democratically elected, peaceful government, they will not be re-opened.



I think in the long run, the issue I have with giving them (non-relief) foreign aid is that we could take every last Haitian out of Haiti, completely rebuild the country, modernize it, make factories and hotels and resorts and industry, build homes and buildings for commerce and government, replant their forests, and return it to them in pristine order, and in 10 years, it'd still be a stinking pit of despair.  After all, they got themselves into the mess they are in--not to say they created the earthquake, just that they created their inability to do anything about recovering from it.


--Chuck

Poor, poor Haiti

Folks in Hait are poor.  Most live hand to mouth, or get by one what little they can get from the gummint, when their gummint isn't busy finding new ways to stick its hand in the till.


Then an earthquake hits, destroying what little infrastructure they do have, destroying their homes, their government, and taking everything away from them. Since most American high school students  (and most of their teachers) couldn't locate Haiti on a map, with two assistants to mark it with chalk, I'll esplain:  It's a dinky little half an island East of Jamaica, (where they make rum, weed, and everyone tries to either be Bob Marley or a voodoo priestess) West of the Dominican Republic (where they make cigars almost as good ad Havana) South-Southwest of Cockburn Town (no idea how that was named) and North of Aruba (which as we all know is renowned for being the first word in the the Beach Boys hit "Kokomo."    Pubilc education:  just one more niche I fill.

From the Cato institute:

(emphasis added)

For 40 years, U.S. foreign aid has been judged by its intentions, not its results. Foreign aid programs have been perpetuated and expanded not because they have succeeded, but because giving foreign aid still seems like a good idea. But foreign aid has rarely done anything that countries could not have done for themselves. And it has often encouraged the recipient governments' worst tendencies--helping to underwrite programs and policies that have starved thousands of people and derailed struggling economies.

Americans have a long tradition of generously aiding the victims of foreign earthquakes, famines, and wars. Before World War II, private citizens provided almost all of America's foreign assistance. After World War II, the Truman administration decided that a larger, more centralized effort was necessary to revitalize the war-torn economies of Europe. Economic planning was the rage in Washington in the late 1940s, and Marshall Plan administrators exported their new-found panacea. The Marshall Plan poured over $13 billion into Europe and coincided with an economic revival across the continent. The best analysis indicates that Europe would have recovered regardless of U.S. aid, and that the clearest effect of the Marshall Plan was to increase the recipient governments' control of their economies.

 Who rebuilt San Fransisco?  (either time)
What foreign aid (or for that matter, foreign charities) poured resources in to California for that?
What foreign aid helps us fight forest fires?
What foreign aid will pay for our nation's debt?

From the National Academy of Public Administration: (pdf)

The facts of Haitian poverty are startling.

• The UN Human Development Index (HDI) ranks Haiti as 153rd least developed among the world’s 177 countries.
• About three-fourths of the population is impoverished—living on less than $2/day. 
• Half of the population has no accessto potable water.
• One-third have no sanitary facilities. 
• Only 10% have electrical service.
• Official unemployment rates range from 50% to 70%, but no one really knows. 
• Haiti’s private sector is comprised mostly of subsistence farmers and micro-businesses.
• A small elite organized in family groupings (ahem, mafia) controls all exports and imports, tourism, construction and manufacturing. 
• About 4% of the population owns 66% of the country’s wealth. Some 10% own nothing.
• About 5% to 8% of the population has HIV/AIDS, and that percentage is rising. Haiti is the most severely affected by HIV/AIDS outside Sub-Saharan Africa. 
• Only an estimated 5% to 10% of those with HIV/AIDS receive treatment. HIV/AIDS is reducing life expectancy in Haiti by 10 years. In addition, tuberculosis, and recently polio, have emerged as epidemics. 
• Non-governmental organizations (NGOs) deliver four-fifths of public services.
  

We've given them billions, now we pledge additional hundreds of millions. We send our troops and our treasure.  Treasure which does not come from the government or the President's "stash," the money that the government so freely spends is money that is taken from every working American (under threat of imprisonment) supposedly for the Federal government to uphold the limited duties allowed to them by the constitution.  It isn't government money, it's our money.  Maybe if we paid fewer taxes we could afford to donate to charities when the time arose that countries needed aid or when disaster struck somewhere.

Haiti is a failed state with our without our help, it will continue to fail, or it will recover.  It must be left to find its own destiny, be that destiny at the barrel of a gun, the noose of a hangman, or through the ballot box.  The tree of liberty must, from time to time, be watered with the blood of patriots and tyrants...  doesn't matter how much you spend on fertilizer, the tree has to be watered.  The tree, in this metaphor, belongs to Haiti (which, if it did in reality, they would likely chop into firewood).  The blood of tyrants and patriots must also be theirs.  And the fertilizer may come from any outside source--government, private citizens, industry, etc., or it may come from a willing people nurturing that tree.  No one will look out for the best interests of Haiti better than the Haitians.  When they are ready, they will feed that tree, water it, and take control of their history. 

To use another metaphor:  If you give the bum on the corner a dollar every day, he will come to expect your dollar.  If you feed him every day, he will expect you to feed him.  If you give him neither money nor food, he will either learn to provide for himself, or he will die.  But he has to make the decision to do that.  In a way, by not helping him, you are helping him to become far more than if you gave him your whole checkbook.  He has to make a decision about what his future will be like, or if he even will have a future.

Finally, there's this:  

Angry Haitians set up roadblocks with corpses in Port-au-Prince to protest at the delay in emergency aid reaching them after a devastating earthquake... Shaul Schwarz, a photographer for TIME magazine, said he saw at least two downtown roadblocks formed with bodies of earthquake victims and rocks. "They are starting to block the roads with bodies, it's getting ugly out there, people are fed up with getting no help," he told Reuters.

So... how's that self-determination vs. international welfare argument working out for ya?

--Chuck

Vague threats are not a problem

This link just caught my eye on Twitter (via @mkhammer):

Tolerance: Twitter user threatening to kill Glenn Beck

The user said "If 10,000 people follow this Twitter by the end of January I will literally assassinate Glenn Beck."

My first thought was that there was no way this guy's account would be left standing.  But if you read Twitter's policy on violent threats, the tweet does not seem to be a violation of their Terms Of Service.

What is a violent threat?
Violent threats are against Twitter's Terms of Service. Twitter doesn't allow violent threats or content directed toward people if it is SPECIFIC, PHYSICAL, and VIOLENT. A violent threat must contain the following:

• Specificity (time and location where violent event is said to take place)
• Physicality (description of what is to take place physically)
• Violence (the event described intended to do harm)

An update must contain all three of the items described above to qualify as a Terms of Service violation.

If you feel there is immediate danger we urge you to call 911, or your local emergency services, at once.

Since this user is not detailing the plan, it's technically not a TOS violation.

The more I learn about stuff like this, the more I want to toss the computers out the window and join the Amish.  I'm sure that Twitter had plenty of legal help when writing up their terms of service and so they probably have very logical reasons for the policy being as specific as it is.  But it just feels wrong that vague threats are tolerated.  But wrong and illegal are not always one and the same.

It will be interesting to see if this person's account stays open.

~~Code Monkey

C-O-L-D!

Name that beer

Arizona State University is demanding that a local microbrewery change the name of one of its beers.

In a letter to SanTan Brewing, an attorney for the Board of Regents demanded that SanTan "cease all use of both Sun Devil Ale as well as any pitchfork related marks. ... ASU views your Sun Devil Ale as a counterfeit product, which bears a label that is intended to violate the rights of ASU. A finding of counterfeiting will result in enhanced damages in the event of litigation."(source)

SanTan is going to have a contest to rename the beer.

My suggestion would be "Honorary Degree."

~~Code Monkey

This is the most important thing you'll read today:

Thongs and Depends do not go together.

--Chuck

New Year's resolutions

Most everyone resolves to change their life in some way at the beginning of the new year.  Some are ambitious, others more mundane.  From the "I resolve to quit smoking--right after this last cigarette," to "I swear, I will never drink tequila and bacon milkshakes again" people make vows to improve their health, well being, perspective, and generally try to renew their hope that this next will be better than the last.  As a fan of detailed analysis and drawing a point to its absurd conclusion, I generally feel that resolutions are no different than saying "This year I hope I won't..." because they so seldom have any sort of plan for follow up, completion, or to measure success (or failure) and assess ways to reinforce success or repair mistakes.


Realizing that, I've come up with the following resolutions: (with little plan of attack, but I still hope to achieve succcess.)


1.  I will not call co-workers "idiots," "dumb-asses," "retards," and "sycophantic pariahs."  Especially when I have to then explain why they are idiotic dumb-assed retarded sycophantic pariahs.



2.  I am going to continue taking prescription meds, and giving them time to absorb, before making important decisions.



3.  I am switching from MD 20-20 to Thunderbird for special occasions.
     3a.  Manichewitz for really special occasions.


4.  I will no longer sing along with dethklok while watching metalocalypse.


5.  I will wear more than just socks when I am cooking bacon.
     5a.  Especially at a friend's house.
     5b.  Especially at a friend's house while their parents are visiting.


6.  I will update my facebook page at least once a month.


7.  I will update the blog at least four times as often.


8.  I will stop paying my code monkey in fentnyl-laced bananas.


9.  I will no longer tell people the plots to movies as though they were my life when engaged by strangers without the foresight to bring something to keep them occupied on an airplane.  (Like the time I was at the beach for the summer and a giant shark was going on a rampage, or the time in college that we threw a ragin' toga party and my buddy hooked up with Dean Wermer's wife, or the time I was charged for a murder that was actually committed by a one-armed man and I had to go on the run from the law until I proved my innocence.


10.  I will continue to follow the goings on of our political leaders on both sides of the aisle, and keep my opinions about them to myself (while bringing to light their flawed programs, policies, and ideas.)


11.  I will continue to highlight the ways in which our rights are stepped on, over, or simply ignored by our government.


12.  I will keep the faith with my brothers-in-arms, the leaders I follow and the men who follow me.  I will hold myself to the highest standards of moral and ethical behavior, as I represent all who wear, will wear, or have worn the uniform, by the very nature of being an officer and a soldier.


13.  I will have no fear of the number 13.


14.  (So I don't end this list with an unlucky number) I will read a book a week, and keep track of them on this blog.  I read books that interest me, and re-read some I've thoroughly enjoyed.  So duplicates are possible.  Unlike my blogfather Kim DuToit, I do enjoy good science fiction, if for no other reason than I like the stories, I like the way the good authors use the future as a way to examine current or past problems, and I like the exploration of new societal ideas (Heinlein, for instance.)  It isn't all that I read, of course.  I enjoy history, books on trivia, techno-thrillers, classics, prettymuch anything that doesn't have Fabio on the cover.


What do you resolve to do?


--Chuck