Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The final solution to the Israeli problem

The UN created Israel. It created it out of some scratch desert in the western-millde east. A bunch of Jews moved there and turned the desert into the promised land, with an amazingly tencious, effective, and respected military. The Israelis built farms, factories, and industry. They developed their own nuclear arsenal. Israel is an oasis surrounded by barren desert, because their neighbors hve built a society of oppression around them.

The Israeli people are a nation united in the war on terror, because it is waged in their streets.

I have a solution far, far simpler than the Dayton accords, the honda accords, and all of the other accords that have failed to bring peace to the western middle east.

We need to relocate Israel again. I suggest Utah, as it would only really inconvenience the followers of Joe Smith, and really, who cares about the mormons? South Dakota is also pretty available, and really, most of Florida is already owned by the Joooos. So let's give them a hand. We move every person, house, building, factory, possession. Every monument, cemetary, headstone, temple, and relic. Hell, we'll even remove the first 3 feet of topsoil, and terraform the land so it still looks like Israel. We'll leave all of the muslim contributions behind, which I believe amounts to a mosque and Crazy Abdul's Carpet World outlet.

After they leave, the paestinians can have it. The whole desert, all to themselves. They can pound sand so far up their collective asses the grit will whiten their teeth. Who then, would they blame for their economic failure and lack of global relevance? Would the a-rab in the street still hate America for removing the Jooos from their holy mosque? Would the other A-rab nations swoop in to help their economic recovery and rebuilding? (I doubt it, as many have yet to offer them, their a-rab brothers in the struggle against the Zionists, emigration rights.)

Who would they hate? Who would they blame?

And, could such an ambitious plan be carried out for less than the current cost of the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Especially if we absorbed the total wealth of the Israeli gummint? What about the infusion of talented and educated artisans, academics, engineers, and professionals? (Better than our current crop of "student visa" sleeper cells and welfare hunters.) Would we, as a nation benefit from the absorption of the Jewish state? Or am I meshuggeneh? I think the Jews and Christians could prettymuch get along, even though they killed Christ and all that.


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