My roommate...

Is a dipshit. He is a new captain, assigned to ROTC after his promotion to CPT, before command and even before spending time on staff. Essentially, he is a glorified LT.

That, of course, doesn't bother me. The way we do rooms here, I hardly ever see him. When I am in the field, he is in the rear, and vice-versa. Except now, since the regiment he should be out training was short a platoon, and the patrolling committee had a lottery to see who would get the open slot (=time off) and he won.

Which means I actually have to live with him.

Things I hate about my roommate:
He is a Pee Eye Gee Pig. I've had to actually tell him to clean up after himself. Dirty dishes (we don't have an efficiency) empty food containers, piles of laundry, shit strewn about everywhere, and a general old-cheese odor coming from his side of the room.

He hasn't figured out how to a) use the bath mat towel for the shower and not track water all over the bathroom floor, b) angle the shower head so the water stays in the shower and doesn't flood the floor c) make sure he doesn't leave pubes in the shower/on the john.

He insists on leaving on the TV 24-7. Worse, he feels the need to explain everything he's watching to me, whether I am watching or not. Even worse, he asks me questions about what is going on on the shows he's watching, even when I am not watching. Basically, regardless of what I am doing, he feels compelled to talk to me.

He has boobs. Not like small breasts or overly developed chest muscles, this guy has a full-b cup set of titties. It's gross, and he constantly walks around shirtless.

He keeps asking to borrow my truck. I wouldn't let people I like drive my truck, and I've told him no in very clear and concise language. (I think I said "Fuck no you can't borrow my truck, not now, not ever. I don't let anyone drive it who isn't named Ziegenfuss and has sex with me. Also, I'm not a taxi or chauffeur, so don't ask for rides, trips, or anything else. It isn't for rent, either, unless you're willing to sign a "you so much as scratch it, you bought it agreement, and pay $250 per hour to use it." (We have GSA and rental vehicles assigned to the committee, all he has to do is ask someone who has the keys and he can use one of those vehicles.)

He asked to use my laptop to check his email, I said no problem, and the next thing I know, he's looking through the "Family pictures" folder, asking questions about the kids and Mrs.. That ended that arrangement.

He's a thief and a liar. We have these binders we call "footballs" We put our evaluation cards, lane maps, Tactical orders, etc. in them. Each person has theirs organized specific to their lane, and for what they need. One of the NCOs who works on my lane on my days off had his come up missing. He asked everyone, including my room mate, if they had seen it. No one had. Later, the same NCO saw his book in the hands of my room mate. It still had his handwriting in it. Of course, all of his lane-specific stuff was removed, but all of the other good-idea stuff he'd put in was still there. When confronted, he first denied that he'd taken it and that he had made the book, then that he "found it" in his rucksack, and then he tried to pull rank to settle the situation.

The NCO got his book back. I can't imagine stealing from a Non-Commissioned Officer. That is wrong on so many levels (and SO contrary to the Army values).

And I have to live with this shitheel.

Sometimes, I wish I were back in Iraq.