Naming Guns

As I write this I am somewhere over Texas or Nevada, on the way to the Gun Blogger’s Rendezvous. For those interested, I am toting along the M1 Brothers, Garand and Carbine, and the composite plastic Austrian soulless piece of hardware that I usually carry.

Glocks are really funny things. People either love or hate them. Even those who hate them can’t often comment poorly on things like its legendary reliability, accuracy, or simplistic function. People who love them often love them for the same reasons. I like my Glock, but as you can tell from the selections of long arms I’ve brought, I love battle weapons, and the Glock is relatively untried in that aspect (at least by any Army known for winning.) That is why I want a 1911 so badly—because it is tried and true, good enough for grandpa; etc. (although, I’ve a sneaky suspicion Grandpa may have toted a luger…)

People often get all wrapped around naming firearms. I don’t. My M1 is called the Garand. The M1C is called the carbine. The Glock is the Glock (or sidearm) and most others are referred to simply by caliber or function. (Deer rifle, street sweeper, home defense, “revenuers”, SHTF.) I’ve never quite gotten the whole naming thing. A firearm is a tool, period. No different than a hatchet, drill, chisel, or level. In the hands of an unskilled novice, child, criminal, or the Amish, it is exceptionally dangerous. In the hands of a trained user, it is no more harmful, threatening, or inherently “evil” or “violent” than the rubber mallet hanging up in my garage.

Since I am not very particular about naming my hand tools, I’ve never seen the sense in doing so for weapons, other than for simple clarification—roofing, rock, tack, ball-peen, claw, sledge—all hammers with specific purpose, all individually named. But applying a person’s name to an inanimate object just doesn’t make sense to me.

It’s harmless, of course, much like people who name their cars and their motorcycles.

Why do I mention this? Who knows? Roll with it. I have to pack up now, as we are fixin’ to land in Reno.

--Chuck