Need to lock up my daughter

Turns out the former POTUS (the great adulterer) is visiting campus today at 0915. It was really nice of him (or whichever intern scheduled the visit) to not so much as inviter the ROTC department. As a matter of fact, the University was alerted to the visit Monday, and we weren't aware of the visit until we cam to work this morning for PT.

Just for kicks, I think I'll use the indoor range this morning at about 0920. it's in the building RIGHT NEXT TO where he'll be speaking, and you can hear the shot outside.

Should be fun to watch.

--Chuck

So--Uncle Bill shows up 20 minutes late. Apparently, retirement isn't treating him well, he looks more like Bea Arthur than Bea Arthur does.

I wait a good 15 minutes for him to get rolling into his speaking. The campus swat team had us lock the doors to the building that faces the gym (where he was speaking.) Not sure why, because they are full-glass doors, but they did.

I go up to the range and fire 30 rounds from the m1 carbine, (10) 9mm, and (5) .38+p. Secret Service agents get riled. You can hear the shooting plain as day outside, and Bill is literally 200 feet from our doors, albeit inside the other building. Campus, local, and state police go into full-hard-on mode, and decide they MUST investigate. I'd thought ahead at this point, and made sure no cadre were in the lobby (since we're the ones with keys) and ALL the doors were locked. After I finished shooting, I went down to the lobby. The 50 were there, outside the door. I had to explain to the (through the glass) that I couldn't let them in through the doors because it would breach the secure perimeter. About that time, the phone rings, it's the campus security office asking if we were shooting on the range. *

"Why yes, why do you ask?"

"Don't you know the President is here?"

"President Bush is here?"

"No, President Clinton."

"You mean Former President Clinton?"

"Yes."

'So what?"

"Well, we can hear the firing outside the building. You should have informed us that you would be shooting."

"Why? You never informed us that anyone special was here. Besides, it's my building, and my range. You have to coordinate through me when the campus police want to use it for their qualification and familiarization."

"Well, I would appreciate it if you could stop shooting until the president leaves."

"You mean the former president?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

Meanwhile, the hilarity ensues as the campus police are still trying to get me to unlock the doors, and I maintain that it would breach security, and I am not allowed. (As a Major in the US Army, who has met the Current President, and is in Uniform at his place of duty, who holds a secret clearance, and has fought for his country, at the risk of life and the cost of limb, I am not allowed to stand outside my building, 50 meters from where the motorcade is parked. Apparently, I am a threat.

--Chuck

*portions of this post have been modified to protect the innocent until proven guilty.

In case I accidentally commit suicide later by shooting myself in the back of the head 3 times, you'll understand what really happened.