Gummint dogs

Four Men Bragging About How Smart Their Dogs Are:

To show off, the engineer called to his dog: "T-Square", do your
stuff. T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and pen
and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed
that was pretty smart.

The Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and
said: "Slide Rule", do your stuff! Slide Rule went out into the
kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4
equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

The Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said:
"Measure", do your stuff. Measure got up, walked over to the fridge,
took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cupboard and
poured exactly 8 oz. without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that
was good.

The three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can
your dog do?"

The Government worker called to his dog and said: "Coffee Break",
do your stuff. Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies,
drank the milk, dumped on the circle of paper, sexually assaulted
the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so,
filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, put in for workmen's
compensation, and went home on sick leave.