Seven Hundred and forty-six reasons to never use Priceline.com

I am all set to go to the Milblogcon 2010.

I made sure I was arriving early on Friday morning, because there are some events I wanted to attend (which includes, as it turns out, a visit to the Pentagon to Welcome home Wounded Warriors. The same visit I made almost five years ago, just on the other side of the wheelchair. Also a trip to Bethesda, to hand out Valour-IT laptops and other assistance technology, including one for this young Marine.

Then I checked my itinerary from priceline.com.

My tickets now have me arriving at 9:30 PM, not 10 AM like had selected.

What. the. hell.?!

I called priceline to ask them to fix it. The first Bangladeshi I spoke to (after using gethuman.com to, well, get a human on the line) told me (and pay attention, this is important)

Bangladeshi: "Sir, I am looking at your contract page and the flight you selected is scheduled to arrive in DC at 9:30 PM on 9 April."

Chuck: "Yes, the itinerary you sent me is wrong. It does not reflect the time I selected. I made sure I was to arrive by 10 AM."

Bangladeshi: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "No, pay attention. This is not the flight I selected. It's not the flight I agreed to on the contract page."

Bangladeshi: "Sir, I am looking at the contract page right now."

Chuck: You mean the electronic one, the one that is generated by your system when you call up the reservation number?"

Bangladeshi: Yes Sir...

Chuck: "Well, I don't have a screen capture of the contract I actually agreed to, which has me landing in DC at 10 AM. That's what I agreed to, that is what I want. Priceline made the error, not me. I want priceline to fix it."

Bangladeshi: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "Can I speak to your supervisor?"

(five minutes, forty seconds later)

Chuck: "Hello, I have a problem and I really hope you can help me out here. The itinerary priceline sent me is wrong. It does not reflect the time I selected. I made sure I was to arrive by 10 AM, and the one you sent has me arriving at 9:30 PM."

Indian Supervisor: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "What, do you guys have that printed on your shirts?"

Indian Supervisor: "Sir, would you like me to change your ticket?"

Chuck: "Yes, I'd like you to change it to what it was when I paid for it."

Indian Supervisor: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "You aren't listening."

Indian Supervisor: "Sir, I am looking at the contract page now."

Chuck: "Seriously? Because your Bangladeshi friend looked at it too. He explained that it reflected the flight that is on my itinerary, and I explained to him that the flight on the itinerary, and the flight on the contract is NOT the flight I selected, and that I know which flight I selected. I want the flight I selected, not whichever one your dumb computer chose for me."

Indian Supervisor: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "Do any of your relatives work as interpreters, because I think I know him."

Indian Supervisor: "?"

Chuck: "Lemme talk to whoever you send people to when you can't fix anything, since you are unable to anything but read the same script the first flunky read."

Indian Supervisor: "No problem sir, thank you for choosing priceline, and I'll transfer you over to customer relations."

Customer Relations Representative, located (I think) in Naruru. Anyway, I explain the problem to... it. I couldn't understand much through the accent, and the tone was so ridiculously androgynous I thought it might be a computer.

Nauruan CSR: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "Yeah, I got that twice already. Priceline screwed up. Can ya'll make it right?"

Nauruan CSR: "Well, we can cancel the ticket, and schedule a new flight for you, but we can't refund your original ticket, because we already paid that money to the airline."

Chuck: "Can I just deal directly with the airline?"

Nauruan CSR: "Absolutely."

Chuck: Click.


US Airways Representative: "No problem sir, we can change your flight, for only $150 and the difference for the new ticket."

Chuck: "Fine. I give up."


So, $746 later (in addition to my original $220) I will be in DC on time.


--Chuck