Can any one out there who is familiar with web design take a look at the source code for this blog and tell me why it looks normal in Firefox but screwey in IE? The right sidebar is all the way down beneath the center column, and I want it even with the left column. I had Frontpage in Iraq, but not on this machine or at home. I'm reasonably confident changing the source, but can't figure out where the error is.

Also, a few people have mentioned taping the CNN interview, and other wanted to encode/host it. I'd really like to do that, but I have these questions/stipulations:
1. which is easiest to transfer: VHS, DVD, or TIVO
2. What format should it be encoded to?
3. The only thing I'm interested in posting is the segment with yours truly, the rest is just dull
4. I don't think it should require new drivers/software/etc, so hosting for REAL/WMP/QT are all likely
5. I wanna do this quick-like, so I'll look at who has the film and who can encode/host, and marry them up (mirror sites are good too) so you'll either have to post your email address or shoot an email to me with
"Source" or "Host" in the subject.

--Chuck

I'll put this as eloquently and as succintly as possible:

We're going to the F'ing Superbowl!!!

Now, if anyone has any ideas on how to get me and Carren into the actual game... (I'll walk there if I have to) if someone can get us in.

As for my earlier comments abot Ben and the Boys, I stand by them, and I'm glad that they overcame their shortcomings. :)

Woot!

--Chuck

Here's one of me and Carren on the set of On The Story. Believe it or not, it's about 15' from the "Situation Room", actually, it's on the opposite corner of the same room. The windows in the background are just big pictures! This is just another set in the rooms where they "make the magic happen."

Indeed...

Oh! And I've started using Google's Picassa, and I dig the "Blog This!" feature. Expect more pictures soon.

--Chuck

Okay, what d'ja think? I was a) hoping I wouldn't get fired/sued/prosecuted for anything I said, but they cut out some of the best bits. Ferinstance, the thing that angered me about what was being reported while I was in Iraq: I actually added "like Brittany Spears' comments about how great her sex life was while she was pregnant, or how Jessica "functionally retarded" Simpson didn't understand what was contained in a tuna can trumped what was going on in Iraq... life and death struggles for freedom and democracy. The host, Ali Velshi, made a reply to that along the lines of larger audience interests/time constraints/more news to report than time allotted. I understand competing demands, however the question was subjective: What frustrated ME about the news.
I really would've liked to spend 2-3 more hours answering questions from the GWU students, but that was not to be. I don't suppose anyone recorded it and has a way to put it on the web?

--Chuck

That’s right woodchuckchuckers, yours truly is going to be interviewed for CNN’S On the Story.  But Chuck, you ask, “how did this happen?”  
I can assure you, they didn't contact me because of my breathtakingly good looks, iridescent charm, irascible humor, or even my deep humility.  There are actually interested in knowing why I blog (for the money), why I started blogging in Iraq (I heard it was a good way to meet chicks), why I continue to blog (again, the money), and why the mainstream media is viewed as not reporting it well in Iraq.
Now, these views are definitely going to be my personal views.  They do not and will not reflect any government views (at least not on purpose) and I will generally be speaking from the heart (although I've resigned myself not to curse like a drunken sailor with Tourettes... it will be so hard.)  I imagine we may end up discussing media bias, embedded journalists, my life as a pincushion, and the hardships of going through life being this good-looking.  Each of us has a cross to bear, I suppose.
The taping is tonight, and the show will air on CNN at 7 p.m. EST Saturday and 10 a.m. EST Sunday.  Honestly, I will try not to embarrass myself (or Carren, especially not Carren) and try to show things in a positive light, and not go on one of my rants about integrity, body counts, bloodlust, nanny government, immigration, the Supreme Court, liberals, Cindy Sheehan, current events, IslamoFascists, or Buddhists.
I have to leave for the interview in about 45 minutes.  So I'd better get dressed... more to follow.

--Chuck

No, it isn't religeon, it's music. Dope. Hits. Rock. Double entendres or synonyms, or homonyms? What am I talking about? Well, I've found a groovy new tune. You see, I have a salubrious appetite for music, one that is not limited to only a few genres or artists... I even like gangsta rap...not muck, but the occasional tune is really worthy of replay(of note: Elwood's Sundown.)
Or, I'm just as likely to giggle along to Monty Python, to drive really fast to Techno (especially Messiah: 21st Century Jesus)(Has zilch to do with Handel, BTW), Relax to Classical, Croon along with the rat pack, or Crack Skulls to Limp Bizkit (I actually had an Ipod compilation that I had the Psyops guys play in Iraq called "Iraqi House Party: Music to Search Houses to." It started with Bowie's "I'm afraid of Americans" and went on to include Limp's "Break Stuff" Rollins and Public Enemy's "Bring the Noise" among others. Segues were awful, meant to throw the locals all out of kilter and to give the boys a chuckle.

So, I want to introduce Richard Cheese (Dick?) to you. Take your average Pop/Rock/Rap song, and imagine it being sung by Frank, Dean, Jerry, and Sammy. It's groovy, funny, catchy, and generally fun. Carren will probably hate it. Google him, and buy his music.

By the way, I was looking up homonym (I knew the meaning, just couldn't recall the word) and came across this gem (see if you can spot the error):
Diphthong:
A vowel sound produced by two adjacent vowels in the same syllable whose sounds blend together (i.e., oy, ow)

Um, is 'W' now a vowel?

the other Really depressing thing is the number of typos and the lack of distnction between "i.e." and "e.g" (that is to say/in other words vs. for example "list examples".
Damn. And I a) went to public school, b) didn't apply myself, c) am a low level public servant, d) Almost majored in Liberal Studies, e) All of the above. It's amazing I can even spell my own name with credentials like those.

--Chuck

Remember: Richard Cheese
(Source: "Glossary ~ Voluntary State Curriculum~ Reading ~ Instruction ~ School improvement in Maryland")

The good news is that I get out of the hostipul today. The bad news is that they're going to put a cast on my left hand. Not sure why, other than to really protect it. Not real enthusiastic about the prospect of having to take a shower with my arm in a bag for the next six weeks.
Carren & I will not be heading home immediately, however. We have to stay here until the 23rd, until I complete occupational and physical therapy. In order to reacquaint myself with the outside world, I decided to read the news today. Here we go...

Dem Stillers Dept:
“The NFL said the referee made a mistake: Troy Polamalu caught the ball. The league acknowledged Monday that referee Pete Morelli erred when he overturned on replay Polamalu's interception of a Peyton Manning pass Sunday in the playoff game between Pittsburgh and Indianapolis.”
The facts: anybody with eyes was able to tell Troy caught the ball. Although it didn't affect the outcome of the game, there's no excuse for the referee being able to see this during the replay. Maybe they only get one camera angle, I don't know. Maybe they should just tune it to whatever station is covering the broadcast and listen to what the announcers are saying.
What should happen now: Pete Morelli should have to face away from Jeff Reed, spread his legs about shoulder width apart, place his hands on his knees and take a shot in the pills from the Steelers most talented kicker. If the NFL did this more often, I'm sure the shitty refereeing in the NFL would stop.

One Less Asshole Dept:
“At least four foreign terrorists died in the U.S. airstrike purportedly aimed at al-Qaida's No. 2 leader, the provincial government said Tuesday.”
The facts: first, the Pakistanis said that we killed a bunch of civilians. Now the Pakistanis are saying that although we killed a bunch of civilians, we also killed at least four, maybe five terrorists—all foreign nationals, naturally. (This means that they were probably Afghan.) All the sudden they have gone from huffing and puffing about how we needlessly and carelessly killed all of these poor innocents to espousing the necessity of the strike, and simply calling the collateral damage "Unfortunate."
What should happen now: Business as usual, we should continue to hunt them and kill them where they hide. Oh, and never, ever claim responsibility for attacks from UAV drones. We need to build those drones a lot more stealthy, and then just flat out deny that we pulled the trigger. In this instance, however, since we did kill about 18 civilians, we should take a take herd of goats/sheep/cows and give it to the family of those killed. (And maybe a donkey or two.)

Those crazy Europeans Dept:
“The death penalty is always wrong, but tying a blind 76-year-old man to a chair and injecting him with poison is grotesque,” Council of Europe chairman Terry Davis said in a statement.“I regret that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has not listened to all the appeals to spare the life of Clarence Ray Allen. As a friend of the United States of America, I look forward to the day this great country will leave the axis of capital punishment.”
The facts: Clarence Ray Allen was convicted of murdering Mary Sue Kitts, which landed him a life sentence in Folsom prison. Six years later, he handed a list of seven names to parolee Billy Ray Hamilton. These names were people who testified against him. While attempting to kill Bryon Schletewitz, Rocha and Douglas Scott White were also slain by Hamilton. Hamilton's on death row now, but no date has been set. Allen was 76, legally blind, nearly deaf, and usually tooled around in a wheelchair, although he was able to walk short distances. Of course, when he entered prison, he was none of these. His vision faltered with age, as did his hearing, and the diabetes was also onset in his later years. The last ridiculous appeal of his attorneys said it was inhumane to kill someone who is so disabled and so old. Had he not abused the legal system for the last 29 years, he would've died on death row much, much sooner. Or, if he had just served his life sentence in California for the first murder (in ‘76) he would probably have been paroled back into society by now. At best, his attorneys were trying to say that he was too old to die.
What should happen now: I know I sound like a broken record, but the appeals process must be refined and expedited. Perhaps a separate court system, one that hears only appeals of death row inmates should be established, and after you strike out (let's say twice) with the appeals court, you go straight to the chamber. His lawyers should be disbarred for making such a stupid argument, that the state was cruel to execute someone so feeble.

The foreign press is just as stupid as the US press dept:
The thwarted romance of "Brokeback Mountain" seduced the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn., which awarded the movie four trophies Monday night at the 63rd annual Golden Globe Awards, including best motion picture drama.
The facts: Broke Back Mountain is a movie about gay cowboys in 1963, directed by Ang Lee. You may remember Ang as the director of "the Hulk," and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Ang is a Taiwanese immigrant. I don't think we should hold that against him, but I think he would be much better off sticking to kung-fu movies, as the Hulk was stupid and the Crouching Tiger movie was actually pretty good. I'm not going to spend $9.50 to see a movie about gay cowboys. I'm not homophobic (fear of man, bastardized into meaning anything anti-gay is due to a fear of homosexuality) rather; I'm homomiseic (again, homo for man, miseo for hate—technically man-hater, but I don’t know what the Greek word for pillow-biting butt-pirate is.)
What should happen now: 1. Ang Lee should stop making movies about anything other than karate. (Sense and Sensibility should have been the straw that broke the camel's back, but now, I'm sure) 2. The globes, the Emmys, the Oscars, should all be tossed on the scrap heap of narcissism. Basically, it's Hollywood showing how much Hollywood loves itself. And each show is a four-hour waste of time that could be filled with less mind-numbing drivel... like Dukes of Hazzard reruns.

Okay, I have to get ready to check out of this hostipul. More to follow, for some reason, every time I end up in DC I start thinking about politics.

-- Chuck

Lil Toni is auctioning off a very cool bit of Beatles Memorabilia, and the Auction ends tomorrow! The proceeds go to Project Valour-IT, which needs money, badly! There's lots of guys on the wards here at Walter Reed with F'd up hands, and the ones I've met are all jazzed about being able to get started. If you want to bid, (and I know you do) go here.

--Chuck

P.S. I got a pass today, went back to the hotel to watch the Stillers whoop up on the Colts. I swear, them boys in black an gold are trying to give my doped up buttocks a heart attack! (not that my heart is in my butt or anything... I have the heart of a little boy... in a jar on my desk.)

Hello... it's your friendly neighborhood wife of a brave soldier (for some reason the Spider Man theme song was running through my head). Yes, I am friendly, just not when people screw things up and refuse to listen!!! So far, I have not had to ruffle feathers or make waves...

Chuck is doing well. Still has the nerve block. He is trying to titrate himself off of it so he can get discharged, but I think he will be in the hospital at least one more day. Doesn't matter much anyway b/c we can't go home until his follow-up on the 23rd. BUT.... I would much rather spend the next 10 days in a hotel room than in a hospital room (this place is REALLY getting old!).

I know Chuck has a lot he wants to blog about, so prepare yourselves! Once he gets discharged I am sure he will give you plenty of reading material. I wish I had more to report, but I don't... which is actually a good thing in our situation. The kids are doing great and Alice is taking good care of them. We miss them terribly, but we know we won't be here too much longer.

Okay, enough babble from my brain. I'll update again when we have any changes... hopefully this weekend Chuck will get discharged so we can watch the Steelers BEAT the Colts on Sunday. There's a TV in the hospital room, but watching football on that TV is like watching ants run around on a picnic blanket... it's TOO SMALL!!!

I'm signing off now...

Until next time...

Carren

Chuck is doing pretty well. I got back to his room about 3:00 and he was actually already there! Usually I have to wait forever... Anyway, he was in some pain when I first got there, but it quickly subsided. His left arm is casted and he has a nerve block again. This time the nerve block was done RIGHT and he said he can't feel his arm at all... for now, this is a good thing. His left leg was bandaged from the knee down - they took a nerve from his left calf and he has an incision from his ankle to his knee. He said he only feels a little pain near his knee, which is also good. BUT... we shall see how he feels tomorrow once the high doses of pain killers wear off from surgery. I really hope he's not in a lot of pain. I made sure Chuck's PA knew EXACTLY what meds he was on while we were home so he doesn't have another "trip into outer space" like last time.

I guess that's about it for now. I am going to get to bed early tonight. I tried to nap earlier today, but it was more like falling asleep into many other worlds (i.e. really weird dreams!).

Thanks again for all the prayers. Hope you all are doing well. Take care and God Bless!

Until next time...
Carren

Thanks for all the prayers and comments on my last post. Chuck is now in recovery (and has been since about 1:00pm). I am on my way back to the hospital for the unknown wait in his hospital room. They always tell me, "He should be up here any time now...." But I always end up waiting a few more hours. So.... I'll get a bite to eat, read a little, walk around A LOT, and ruffle some feathers if I need to (wink wink).

I'll post again tonight after I come back to the hotel.

Love to you all....

Carren

Well.... Chuck's under the knife right now. I just got a call from one of the nurses and she said they got started about 0900 (EST). We got to the hospital about 0530 this morning... went down to the OR prep room about 0715... and I left him about 0740. Now I am in the hotel room getting ready to take a nap. Chuck's surgery is going to be at least 3-4 hours (not including recovery). I am nervous simply b/c he is in surgery, but I know his surgeons are awesome and that they will take good care of him. I will post again when he is out of surgery to keep y'all updated. Please continue the many prayers - we appreciate and are grateful for all of you for "being there" for us.

Take care and God Bless!

Until next time...
Carren

Well, we made it.  The Mrs. and I left the house at zero-dark-thirty this morning to begin what we hope will be our last journey to the Nations Capital body parts and service shop.  (Not to say we never want to come here again, just not to Walter Reed.)  I’ve an appointment on Monday, and then pre-op, Tuesday is a day of rest, and then the cutting begins on Wednesday.  Say bye-bye to feeling on the outside of the left foot, hello to an incision on my leg from my knee to my ankle, and to the beginnings of sensation (hopefully over the next few months) in my left hand.  Adelle can say Washington, D.C., but still says Hostipul.  Darn two-year-olds.  Good thing she’s pretty, cause I don’t think she’ll be working at JPL at this rate.

Anyhoo, the PO box is back on-line (see left sidebar.)  My project Chuckshirts is on hiatus.  I’m mostly leaning toward Cafepress (unless anyone has a better idea—the P/E ratio is a driving force) and will offer a small variety of t-shirts, sweats, and mugs.  Mostly slogans, rant quips, and the Url.  More to follow on that.  (And all of the profits go to Soldier’s Angels & Project Valour-IT.)

Anyone with my AOL address is advised we’re going to shitcan AOL as of 1 FEB.  Gmail is the way to go, and one helluva lot cheaper.

More posting this time while recuperating, I promise.  Stay tuned, this should get interesting.

--Chuck

I'm sitting at home trying to decide what to have for dinner. Lately, my craving for pizza has been darn near insatiable. Although I was originally put off at the thought of the Domino's steak lovers pizza or meat lovers whatever with Angus beef and cheese and stuff. Really, I was ready to vomit when it first came out, just from watching the commercials. (I was also taking a lot of narcotics and my taste buds were REALLY put off.) Anyway, since I consider beef to be the main ingredient in any good meal, I decided to try it one night. I have a new favorite.

Any how, I've got a hankering for Mexican food. Don't know why, perhaps my cilantro levels are low. Which got me to thinking about the only decent Mexican restaurant in town, a place called El Cazador. I love eating there. The food is outstanding, even if the following day I could shit on a screen door and not hit a wire. Toxic stuff really. I imagine if I broke wind too close to the children, I might kill one of them.

Unfortunately, the restaurant is closed. Apparently it was raided by the immigration and naturalization service and all of the employees were carted off to points unknown. This brings me to the point of this post: Illegal aliens.

(You may want to get some coffee and get comfy, this is a loooong post.)

Now, I'm all for poor, weak, huddled masses yearning to breathe free—as long as they don't come here illegally. They should become fully indoctrinated into our society the right way: they should be inundated with government paperwork and bureaucracy, given the runaround, and then forced to learn more about civics and United States history than any American high-school graduate. Then, once they've gone through all of those hurdles, they can enjoy the fruits of their minimum-wage labor. “But Chuck”, you say, “please, please tell us what you would do to stem the flow of illegal aliens into this country.” Very well, As you wish.

Let's see, we've got something like a 1500-mile border to protect and pretty much anybody with a decent pair of Nike's can come in the country illegally. It's not something we can fix overnight. We have to take baby steps. First, we start rounding up all the Illegals we can find. Second, we organize them in the work gangs. Third, we put them to work for us. Since they'll be in our legal system, they can get the federal limit of $.90 an hour for their work. "But what will they do, Chuck?” you ask.

They will begin building the wall. When the Spanish conquered the West in their discovery of California, they built a mission roughly every 20 miles. That was a day's march for their soldiers. We should cut back by a half, and have the work gangs build prisons every 10 miles along the border. (For cost-effectiveness, we would follow the Sheriff Joe Arpaio model.) In between the jails, they will build the wall that separates us from Mexico. Just to ease the confusion, we will concede 1 mile of our border -- a no man's land if you will. Actually, since we'll be using unskilled labor, it gives us a margin of error if we screw up where the border lies. Volunteer citizens can be used as deputized guards and wardens and paid according to their skills and abilities. The jails will house the prisoners as they continue to build the wall, and anyone who “escapes” back to Mexico is welcome to leave. Anyone who escapes to el norte, is welcome to be hunted down like a dog, and shot (as an escaped felon). After working an eight hour day (any more would be too cruel) the detainees would work on the citizenship process. They could do their paperwork, take their classes on citizenship, and all of the other sundry things that apply to becoming a United States citizen. Also, they would learn to Habla Ingleś-- an absolute requirement for release (after all, we have to make sure that they completely understand their oath of citizenship).

Their wages would (of course) be taxed. Something that they could learn about: ThereAin’t No Such Thing as a Free Lunch. (Nods to Heinlein—TANSTAAFL.) As a matter of fact, they could use their wages to pay for their lunch while they work. And no, meals wouldn't be optional. Yes, Virginia, America is the land of opportunity. That doesn't mean that opportunities will be handed to you; it means if you work hard enough, you can make opportunities happen.

Now, after they have completed the citizenship process, they will be released from the work program. Just like your average American prisoner, they will be given $20 and a new suit, and released back into society. Of course like your average American criminal, they will begin their new life in America, with one strike against them, as a convicted felon. After all, that's the very definition of illegal alien, and it sends a clear message.

As we continue to capture aliens trying to cross the border legally, they will refill the ranks of those who attain citizenship. Trust me, they'll keep coming. Another note on these prisons: although they will have the overall goal of keeping the inmates penned up when they are not working, we're not talking about a Supermax here. Rather, something more along the lines of Cool Hand Luke, without the torture. As for the wall that they'll build, I'm not thinking about a simple fence that any idiot with a pair of tin snips can cut through about 15 seconds. I'm thinking about the eighth frickin’ wonder of the modern world; I wanna wall that can be seen from space. The Chinese built their wall for the same purpose, to stop the illegal immigration of the Mongols who threatened to destroy their society. That all is seen as a marvel, as a testament to their ability, and also as a testament to their cruelty, since millions died building it.

Of course, our illegals would be housed, clothed, fed, educated, paid wages (substantially higher than they would get picking lettuce, or cleaning the houses of well-to-do Californians) and otherwise rewarded for their efforts. They would be building a monument to security of the nation, it would stand for generations. They would be able to tell their children and their children’s children about the work they did to secure their new homeland.

And if Vincente Fox so much as bitches about it to his next-door neighbor, we will suspend NAFTA . According to the Pew Hispanic Center Report from Census Data, there are currently over 10.3 million “Unauthorized migrants” in the United States. 1500 miles of border/10,300,00 illegal aliens=only 77 feet of wall per illegal! (This assumes, of course that we could round up all 10.3 million The jails I'm talking about establishing are also not permanent fixtures, rather they are meant to be portable: tents, concertina wire, a few portable buildings, mostly the same stuff that the Army uses when we go someplace and build. This way, when sections of the wall are complete, they can pack up their camp and along the wall, establish a new camp, and begin building. As far as cost is concerned, the largest cost of any construction project is the raw materials for building. Just like the Great Wall of China, the wall could practicably be built from surrounding raw materials, whatever was at hand. The height of the wall could also be improved through the use of moats. These wouldn't have to be filled with water, punji stakes and land mines will work much better.

Of course, the best obstacle in the world is pretty worthless if it isn’t overwatched. So, we will need a more robust border guard force. Homesteaders work well for this. Build nice homes along the wall, which of course would connect to a tower, and these homeowners have shoot to kill orders for anyone trying to get over or through the wall. The homes would be given free, or, in keeping with the American way, at a greatly reduced rate for the people who live in them. (Former illegal aliens will be prohibited from living in/owning one of theswe, as it could create a conflict of interest.) The beauty is that you never know which towers will be manned when. Electronic sensors can also help quite a bit, so that the towers don't have to be manned 24/7. You could put a house about every mile or so, I'd be happy to have an nice, inexpensive home, with a beautiful view, a nice observation tower (also good for observing the night sky) and a very nice plot of land to call my own. Shoot to kill/defend the nation's borders order wouldn't be a problem for me at all. You've got enough land on every house plot for a small-arms range, the wall could serve as a backstop. And since I'm doing such a hell of a job and a service to my country, perhaps they could loosen the restrictions on ownership of automatic and long-range weapons, provide relief from property taxes (since tax revenue would be increased by this project and the resulting increase of legal aliens), and peace and quiet.

Next comes the issue of “wet foot/dry foot.” Once a person steps off of their rubber boat from the Dominican Republic, and onto dry land in the US, it becomes much harder to toss them back into the water (legally). That should be much simpler if they had to make it all the way off the beach. On the actual, arable soil. Until then, they could be shot. After that, they could still be shot, they'll just recuperate from non-fatal wounds in the work camps. If the Coast Guard locates one of these boats, they sink it. No questions asked. It's not all about search and rescue. It's about national security. If people can walk or swim across the border without any impedance, if they can gain entry into this country illegally, for the purpose of finding a better life, then they could just as easily find their way into this country, with the purpose of destroying lives. Perhaps carrying a backpack with God knows was what in it, perhaps not. Perhaps they're just going to learn how to fly.

It's a simple plan. The logistics would require a staff of maybe five trained people, and they'd need three or four days to figure it out. Establishing the guard force manpower might take a few more days. Let's say a month from “go,” we could start putting this plan into effect. It really is that easy.

I just realized, I've ranted about this before. Is anybody listening?

--Chuck

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I broke my laptop. My claw, as I've taken to calling my left hand, had gotten precariously long nails. One of them got stuck under my tab key and popped the damn thing off. In my ham-handed attempt to fix it, I broke the little nylon thingamajig that held it in place.

As usual, the tech support folks at Dell were outstanding in their performance. (That's not a compliment.) They simply recommended that I spend $45 (not including shipping) on a new keyboard, which for a small fee ($30 at Best Buy) could be installed with no problem. Of course, Best Buy is only an hour away. So, we're talking about 15 more dollars for gas. Let's see, that makes it about $90, plus lunch.

The Mrs. dinna like that idea. She's usually opposed to spending any money at all on the computer, she hates the blasted things. More appropriately, she hates the time that I spend on them (I love them). As usual, she's right. I tend to fall into my own little world and ignore everything around me, spending hours on these machines, surfing the web, researching things I find interesting, but basically screwing around. And unfortunately the things that I do ignore (mostly my kids) are things that once lost can never be regained. This helps to explain the lack of posting over the last few days, that and laziness.

Oh yeah, back to the broken laptop. So I called every local computer repair shop and they told me the same thing, you have to replace the keyboard (and pay me lots of money to fix it). Notoriously cheap, (not frugal) I shopped around for days on the Internet. Finally, I found what I was looking for—at eBay of all places. Actually found a seller who finds laptops and such, and then tears them apart for all their little bits and pieces. The seller can provide me with the key that I need, and BOTH of the little nylon hookiedoos that will re-affix it to my keyboard. All for six bucks and I don't even have to leave the house. (For some reason, I feel like I might be turning into Howard Hughes, in his latter years...).

-- Chuck