Today is my 12th wedding anniversary to the most wonderful woman in the world. I don't deserve her, and she certainly doesn't deserve to have me inflicted upon her daily, but she puts up with me, and I have yet to find my stuff in a burning pile on the lawn.
Other than that, a quick joke before our date:
Masochist: "Beat me, whip me, make me bleed!"
Sadist: "No."
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