Monday, November 01, 2010

Reasons why people don't vote

  1. Some people feel their vote won’t count so they say ‘Why vote’? 
    • Lets get something straight.  Your vote counts.  If you live in Chicago, your dear granny's vote counts.  If your vote didn't count, people wouldn't bother with election fraud.  Fraud only works in close races (just ask the Honorable Al Franken.)  You can't seriously ask for a recount in a landslide.
  2. Students and employees report they are too busy to take time off from work or school.
    •  Most students carry 15-18 credits.  That's 15-18 hours per week of classes.  If you thing 15-18 hours a week eats up too much of your time to go vote, then I suggest you go find the student with meningitis and start giving them kisses.  If you can't tear yourself away from playing solitaire at your 9-5 to go vote, I call bullshit, because polls are open late everywhere.
  3. Some Americans are not interested in voting or politics. 
    • Those who are not interested in voting or politics deserve the government that is selected for them.
  4. People who are ill or disabled can’t get to the polls
    • Bullshit.  It's called an absentee ballot.  If you have a horrible cold, then go anyway.  Be sure to smear boogers all over the circle-D levers.
  5. Illegal immigrants are not authorized to vote. 
    • Gee, people whose first act on entering the country was to break the law and disregard our national sovereignty, who pay no taxes, are a drain on society, and contribute nothing of value to our great nation (well, okay, lettuce and tomatoes, but other than that, nothing) are disenfranchised?  Good.  They don't need to vote.  They need to get their asses back in the fields and pick me a salad, and then come cut the damn grass.
  6. Many non-voters say they just don’t like the candidates
    • You don't like the candidates?  Gee jackass, go to the primaries.  Vote then, and try to get a candidate you like elected.  Better yet, try to find others who feel like you do and make a voting bloc that can really influence the primaries.   Since it's too late for that, vote for the best choice for the country, not necessarily the perfect choice.  (Many held their nose and pulled the lever for McCain, the least retarded candidate.)
  7. Some residents don’t have transportation to get to the polls. 
    • ask a neighbor, call a cab, ask a friend, take the bus, ask your church, call any campaign headquarters,  If you call them, they assume you want to vote for them, and they will get you a lift to and from the polls.  If you think your vote doesn't matter, why would they do this?
  8. Citizens might be out of town on vacation or business trips. 
    • Early voting.  Absentee voting.  if you can plan a vacation, you can plan to get your ballot counted.
  9. Forgetting to vote is a common explanation. 
    • Totally understandable, what with the TV and Radio completely being hush-hush about these elections.  It's damn near a state secret*  that elections are going on.  This is a retarded excuse, and shows that some people are too goddamn stupid to be allowed to cast a vote.
    • *bad example, the government can't seem to keep secrets (unless it pertains to birth certificates)
  10. Many Americans complain the voting lines are too long
    • Gasp!  The lines are too long?  These are the same people who will gladly wait in much longer lines for the latest iGadget, or to see the latest summer blockbuster from the drek-shovelers in Hollywood, queue up like cattle to be unreasonably searched by TSA, but complain because the line to cast a ballot deciding the future of our nation is too long?  Bring a damn chair.  Rent a wheelchair, so you don't have to get up when the line moves.  Get an absentee ballot (although that does require advanced planning, something the too-lazy-to-stand-in-line bunch are likely incapable of.)
There.  I think I've covered the top 10 well.  What other excuses do you hear for why people won't do their civic duty?   Post the ones you've heard (because I know you all will go vote) in the comments and I'll flay them for you.

--Chuck

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